Leonard's League 14/15 Week Sixteen - CHAMPIONSHIP

Congratulations to Iron Thighs!

He climbed the ladder, teamed up with his namesake doppelganger DeMarco Murray, beat offinthewoods, gave Yobogoya a first time to remember, took Wrong Turn to Pound town, was brought down by Flacco and his poor pass completion percentages, but he got his butt off the sad bench, moved his Thunder Thighs with the thigh master, licked his wounds, got some sage advice from Yoda, landed the top score of the season, and ultimately was carried to victory by Demariyus Thomas.  Interestingly enough, he almost scored the worst coach award for leaving the most points on his bench, but he was edged out of that disgrace by offinthewoods.  Quite the season sir, you are the Greatest Of All Time, you have earned the G.O.A.T.  Well Done!

For the second year in a row the Green Velvet Recliners have finished second.  Always the bridesmaid, never the bride...except that one time in 2011, which was pretty great.  Matt Forte and I are a force to be reckoned with, and if Andrew Luck would work on his consistency (and maybe that beard?) I'd be unstoppable. So I've never owned the G.O.A.T. - I'm not at the front of the pack, but you still notice me, I'm freakin' awesome!

The Kiegl Titans took command of Leonard's League early.  They even started with Adrian Peterson and recovered from that s***show.  The Titans became an arch villain winning everything, making trades and running the waiver wire like a pro. Ultimately, the Green Velvet Recliners knocked her out of the championship round, but she took down the Legend and claimed third in the league.  I think she's in it for next year, she's got something to prove and she knows...

We all thought The Legend was a masked man that no one knew and would stay in the background.  He quietly turned on his swagger and became something to be feared.  As the Titans loosened their grip on the leader board, he took over and was the regular season champion.  He was so busy maintaining his image that he forgot to focus on the game and the Kiegl Titans took him down in the final playoff round, he finished fourth in the finals, but damn did he look good doing it.

The Klunebergs looked great at the beginning of the year.  He won four of his first five games and then things deteriorated.  He couldn't get a good thing going for QB, he cycled through Matt Ryan, Tony Romo, Nick Foles, Ryan Tannehill, and RG III, before finally settling down with Romo.  Despite his rotating QB, The Klunebergs are fine with the overall performance.  He knows he's fabulous - just watch him.  And if you disagree, he'll be mean muggin' to let you know how wrong you are.

Yobogoya  was supposed to destroy ya, and just like the Klunebergs, she looked great at the start of the season wining four of her first five matches.  After that though, she developed a problem: her starting players performed terribly, until she benched them or dropped them.  Ladies and Gentlemen she has coined a new term for us all.  "Yobogoya'd".  When a player performs poorly and is removed from the starting lineup, only to succeed spectacularly immediately after the lineup change.  It plagued her for the rest of the season - her team Yobogoya'd all over itself.  BUT, Santa just brought the most adorable Shepard/husky mix to her house (his name is Russel!) and in my book, that means she is a winner.

My Naginta Naginta had a pretty tough season.  His team under-delivered all season and he finished with an even 7-7 record.  In the end he dominated Your Wife My Kids 102.82 to 56.42 and nabbed 6th place in the league.  He's pretty proud of himself too, check out this victory dance.

Your Wife My Kids made it to the playoffs.  He finished last in the playoffs, but he still made it.  He's a perpetual optimist, he knows how to take the few things he has and make them work for him.  He can have a good time with just about anything and make you wish that you could be half as cool as he is.  See?

'Bout That Action finished 9th this year.  Percy Harvin ditched her about half way through the season and Tom Brady was remarkably unreliable.  She had a 6-8 record, but she showed improvement as five of those victories came in her last six games.  I've been saying it all season:

The Canning Queen was more or less a silent partner this year, we didn't hear much from her.  I maintain that she was pouting from the poor performances of Wes Welker.  I, too, was saddened by his poor fantasy showing, but he is still my football boyfriend, and I'm still proud to rock my Welker jersey.  I tried talking with her about her season, and how she felt, but Your Wife My Kids' optimism must be wearing off on her because this was all I could get out of her.

Oh how the mighty have fallen.  The reigning champion from last season finished 11th overall this year.  To say that the Traveling Panty Droppers had a disappointing season would be an understatement.  She dropped those panties nine times this year and didn't even make the playoffs.  She really isn't phased though, it was a building year, and she knows that she is still fabulous.

There is no nice way to say this: Offinthewoods was awful this year.  And he only has one person to blame.  The only one who beat Offinthewoods was himself - which was certainly the joke all season so it seems appropriate.  He finished with a 4-10 record and two of those wins were from weeks when he didn't look at his lineup.  Maybe he's hit on a new strategy - not looking at your lineup.  I'm not sure I can support it, but it certainly started working for him.

Thank you all for a fantastic season!  We will be presenting the trophy and winnings at our Superbowl party at our place on February 1, 2015. Come on over!  We'll watch the Seahawks beat up on whatever team thinks they stand a chance!

Also in a purely unofficial, yet league related note.  The Traveling Panty Droppers are in town!  We will be hanging out at the Star Lake Inn this Friday (1/2/2015) in Auburn.  We should be there around 8, and would love to see you if you are available.

Happy New Year!

Much Love,
Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 Week Fifteen

You know the elf on the shelf ?  I'd give you a link to the website and story, but I tried and the background of the site moves with my mouse and makes me want to vomit.  Nauseating website design does not get a link from me.  The just of it is: a family adopts an elf who gets a name from the kids and the elf has magic to fly to Santa every night and report on whether the kids have been good.  The elf flies back every day and he moves locations in the house so the kids know he left and came back.  Creepy right?  Well, this year, like our favorite "The League" family, the Green Velvet Recliners adopted an elf on the shelf and named it Kiegl.  Kiegl the Titan Who Frightened.  At first the Titan had a lot of power, she popped up everywhere!  She won nine of the first ten weeks, and frightened all of Leonard's League.  Then as the season wore on she started to lose her powers.  In week 15, despite solid performances from Brandon Marshall (21.00), and Russell Wilson (20.22), she couldn't break 100 points.  The Green Velvet Recliners rallied to keep the Titan that Frightened from making it into the championship round with respectable 13+ point performances from two thirds of her team. Odell Beckham was on fire with 32.20 points and with his performance the Recliners destroyed any hope Kiegl the Titan Who Frightened had for a championship win this year.

The Klunebergs went up against My Naginta Naginta and I heard the side bet was a BJ.  Seriously guys?  They were looking to keep a low profile so it was a low scoring game.  The high scorer of the week was Tony Romo with 17.50 and three TD passes for the Klunebergs.  Antonio Brown (16.60) couldn't score, but still had an impressive 10 catches on 10 targets for the Klunebergs.  None of My Naginta's players brokeback nine points, although every player did score over three points which is the first time he can say that all season.  Ouch.  It was a pretty clear win for The Klunebergs (57.70 to 97.60) so we know who is on top.  No word yet on whether Naginta will pay up.

Yobogoya's quarterback, Drew Stanton, didn't show up to the game (3.66 points), and neither did Rashad Jennings (one of her RB's 0.30 points), oddly though, it turned out alright for her, as Your Wife My Kids didn't show up at all.  His high scorer was Alshon Jeffery with 13.80, and his grand total was 76.42.  I heard he was inspired by Yobogoya (for reference/Yobogoya jingle click this link), but he decided to go with the American version and he picked up some hot pockets.  YWMK should have known that Yo Yo Yo Yobogoya would destroy ya!  Here is Jim Gaffigan explaining why taking inspiration from the cheapest bucket of beef in our League-a was YWMK's downfall this week.



All season The Legend has dominated - he leads the league in points by a solid quarterback performance (22.64).  This week he was Legen...wait for it...dairy.  All his hard work this season has been udderly destroyed in one week by Iron Thighs.   Three of Iron Thighs players milked it for all they were worth and scored over 18 points.  DeMarco Murray (20.40),  Demariyius Thomas (18.30) and Devin Hester (23.30), well done - that is how you make the championship round!  The Legend's defense, the Chiefs, did great with 38.20 points, but a defense should not make up 33% of a total score.  You need to beef up your team and get them to score more than 12 points! Oh? One did?  Manning - your 12.02 doesn't cownt.  Iron Thighs started out the season a bit shaky, but he didn't climb the ladder, he became the ladder and beat The LegenDairy over the head with it (much like a bad pun), and doesn't LegenDairy look sheepish.

Alright - I realize this doesn't really belong here, and I won't make a habit of it, but:  I'm pissed off that some asshole in North Korea can get a bunch people he has oppressed and brainwashed to hack a huge international company, threaten the American public with violence and get away with it.  I don't care that the movie is in poor taste, I would probably never watch it, and certainly wouldn't find it funny.  But WTF?! Keep your callow, bloated, little man complex-driven, twisted sense of pride and justice out of my country you pretentious, marshmallow faced man child!  If this movie comes out in some fashion, which it should (Sony you spineless sucktards!),  I'm going to see it.  Just wait till we all find out that Sony was really behind this whole thing and wow did this publicity stunt work...

Ok....back to business.

It's the Final Countdown!! Or Week...its the final week.  Here are the matchups:

Green Velvet Recliners vs. Iron Thighs for the win!
Winner gets the G.O.A.T. and the pot of $40
Loser gets sad, 2nd place and $15

Kiegl Titans vs. The Legend for third
Winner gets third and $5
Loser gets nothing

Klunebergs vs. Yobogoya for fifth
Winner gets bragging rights

Your Wife My Kids vs. My Naginta Naginta for seventh
Winner gets bragging rights

Go Green Velvet Recliners!

Much Love,
Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 Week Fourteen

Sorry, Your Wife My Kids, but your win is my entry in to the playoff rounds. The Green Velvet Recliners have been doing pretty well, on a four game winning streak until it was ended by YWMK. YWMK picked up 26.10 from the Vikings defense, Alshon Jeffery (15.50), Matthew Stafford (20.24), and Jamaal Charles (23.10) all showed up with strong games. YWMK beat the Recliners 107.74 to 103.76 earning solid, if illegitimate, bragging rights.

‘Bout That Action (175.18) completely obliterated Yobogoya (142.66). Yobogoya has been plagued by inconsistent players all season, and even though Rashad Jennings had a poor week, that wasn’t really the problem. The problem was Jordy Nelson (26.60), Percy Harvin (29.60), Julio Jones (31.90) and The Rams (43.30) all playing for ‘Bout That Action. Yobogoya still made the consolation bracket so at least she’s got that. ‘Bout That Action is done for the season, but her last half of the season was so much better than her first, this kid is going places…you know…next year.

My Naginta Naginta took down the Keigl Titans 85.22 to 101.08. Both of their Quarterbacks had good games - Aaron Rodgers (26.88) for Naginta and Wilson (27.32) for the Titans. Despite the loss and the fact that it’s her fourth in a row, the Titans are still moving forward into the playoff round. You know the expression “grow some balls”? How about tighten up your Kiegls? Those things can take a pounding!

Iron Thighs is the only one of the top four teams who won his match this week. He took down the Canning Queen 108.76 to 71.66. DeMarco Murray (28.80) and Joe Flacco (23.36) bonded with Marko and Jo – maybe the rest of us need to find our name sakes in the NFL too? The Canning Queen is done for the season but honestly, she has a good reason for her 10th place finish. She had Kaepernick (4.56) for a QB, she’d have done a whole lot better if she had his favorite receiver too.

The Legend has lost his last two games, Peyton Manning hasn’t really been bringing in the points with only 2.72 this week. But, with a 10-4 record, the best in the league, the Legend is above it all. In another case of too little too late, the Travelling Panty Droppers took down The Legend 103.20 to 86.42. It’s great that she is finally playing, and starting a full lineup – except one of her starters, Terrance Williams brought in 0 points. Sometimes there just isn’t enough caffeine in the world to breathe life into a dropped season.

The Klunebergs (110.80) fell to Offinthewoods (123.24) for his fourth loss in a row. The Klunebergs were so good in the beginning of the season; but they didn’t really make big lineup changes other than benching/starting players. The Klunebergs should have spent a little more time seeking out better players. Offinthewoods came in pretty late to the season, he is finishing dead last and he’s only won four games all season, two of them in the last two weeks. I wonder if he was just playing a different game than the rest of us, did anyone actually talk to him this season? Did he realize this was a football thing? For all we know, he thinks he won.

This week is the first round of playoffs.

In the winners bracket we have:

The Legend (1) vs. Iron Thighs (4)
The Kiegl Titans (3) vs the Green Velvet Recliners (2)

And the Consolation Bracket is:

The Klunebergs (6) vs. My Naginta Naginta (7)
Yobogoya (8) vs. Your Wife My Kids (5) Good luck to all!

Much Love!
Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 - Week Thirteen

You know how when you are about to travel to your Oregon office for two days because you are the new company wide Safety Manager (yay me!) and you have to prepare to ask questions about the safety program so you can understand what you are getting yourself into because ready or not here you go, and that seems stressful, but last week you also got roped into writing a presentation that you have to give to industry representatives in Anchorage, Portland and Seattle over the next two months and you haven't really started it but it's due on the 19th of December, and that's stressful too, but you are also going on a ski vacation to Tahoe with your super sexy significant other and you're leaving on the 6th and not getting back until the 15th, so even though its going to be super fun you've effectively lost a whole week to do all of that other stuff in, and you are also trying to work through the chiropractor appointments and insurance crap from when you got rear-ended two weeks ago in your nice car (you have an older car that wouldn't be a big deal to get in an accident but of course you weren't driving it) - with all that going on you feel like you love your Fantasy League but you just don't have the time or energy to devote to writing a hilariously suggestive weekly update?  Yeah...Me too!

Green Velvet Recliners beat 'Bout That Action - sorry chica, you've been looking good but the GVRs can't be stopped!

Your Wife My Kids crushed The Klunebergs 118.90 to 85.66.  They are both tied with 7-6 records, one of them could make the playoffs.

The Keigl Titans have really loosened up and let things go over the last few weeks.  They're on a 3 game losing streak, this time against Yobogoya.  Yobogoya's team is looking good and may have things together enough to make the playoff round.

Offinthewoods got his third season win against Iron Thighs.  Offinthewoods knew he wasn't getting to the playoffs, now he's just a spoiler.

My Naginta Naginta kept his playoff hopes alive and defeated the Traveling Panty Droppers.

In a fabulous upset the Canning Queen brought down The Legend.  Somebody had to make sure he was human, thanks Queen!

We are entering into Week 14 - the last week before playoffs!

The current top 4 are:
The Legend
The Green Velvet Recliners
Keigl Titans
Iron Thighs

These folks are on the bubble depending on how this week goes:
The Klunebergs
Your Wife My Kids
Yobogoya
My Naginta Naginta

Have a fantastic week!

Much Love,
Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 - Week Twelve

Howdy friends!

The week has completely gotten away from me and since it's a Holiday, I'm going to make this a quickie.

The Green Velvet Recliners beat the Klunebergs 118.22 to 93.20.  This game was all about Odell Beckham - did you see that catch?!  Free Beckham!

The Kiegl Titans lost 104.04 to 'Bout That Action.  'Bout That Action is on her 4th consecutive win - I told you she had it dialed in!

Iron Thighs won 95.62 to 87.76 over Your Wife My Kids.  Demaryius Thomas caught three TDs for Iron Thighs, nice work.

Yobogoya lost to Traveling Panty Droppers 96.36 to 103.80.  Yobogoya's Sunday night and Monday rally wasn't enough to save her - the traveling panty droppers are very unpredictable.  

The Legend beat offinthewoods.  But only a little, by 3.80 points.

The Canning Queen defeated My Naginta Naginta.  She completely overscored her projections and Naginta underscored his.  Awesome for the Queen she broke her five game winning streak, sad for Naginta!

I leave you with this mesmerizing and completely unrelated music video by Chet Faker.  



Happy Thanksgiving!

Much Love,
Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 - Week Eleven

Congratulations are due to Yobogoya!  In week eleven she turned it up to eleven and broke her five game losing streak with the week's high score of 121.84.  Eddie Lacy (23.40) and Le'Veon Bell (28.20) had fantastic weeks and they carried Yobogoya beyond Chandler Catanzaro's sad 2 points.  Everybody showed up for the Canning Queen, but just like her Seahawks Defense (12.90) a respectable performance is not enough to win the game.  As the NFL Fantasy recap headline says "Yobogoya Lights Up Canning Queen, Hole Gets Bigger".  Wait, what?

Your Wife My Kids changed his name this week to Your Points My Team.  Ben Tate (-0.90) gave his points to The Legend; Dwayne Allen was kind enough to put up a zero on the board;  Matthew Stafford (QB) and Martavis Bryant (WR) brought an impressive combined 2.42 to the table.  Without Jamaal Charles (27.80) it would have been really bad.  Final score was YWMK 66.42, The Legend 86.56.  The Legend continues to be the stuff of Legends with a seven game winning streak and his 86.56 low score of the season.

The Green Velvet Recliners broke the Titans.  At least the GVRs broke the Keigl Titans eight game winning streak and knocked her down to second place.  The Keigl Titan's two titans of the week were Russell Wilson (20.22) and Brandon Marshall (21.00).  Like the Little Mermaid, the Titans gave up the beautiful voice of Coby Fleener (14.40, enough to have won the game), for the legs of Michael Rivera (4.00), ouch.  The Green Velvet Recliners blatantly ignored a need for a TE (starting inactive Delanie Walker - oops), scored zero in that position and still won the game with a collection of flotsam and jetsam from the rest of her team.

 

This week it was My Naginta Naginta's turn to beat Offiinthewoods.  With a 2-9 record, we're not surprised that Offinthewoods lost another one, but he's still a bit prickly about it.  It came down to Monday night and the Steelers/Titans game.  My Naginta had 79.24 points and Shaun Siusham, the Steeler's Kicker; Offinthewoods had 82.30 points and Ben Roethlisberger.  It seemed like a sure thing -QB vs. his Kicker.  Roethlisberger has been having an up and down season, this week was a downer at 5.48 points.  Siusham was looking sharp, he connected on both of his field goal attempts and aced all three extra points for a total of nine.  Final score My Naginta 88.24, Offinthewoods 87.78.  Offinthewoods is not happy.

The Klunebergs started Mike Evans for an impressive 32.90 points. The Iron Thighs started the Packers DEF for an even more impressive 41.70 points.  Ultimately, the Iron Thighs lost to the Klunebergs by 8.14.  If the Thighs had started Knile Davis (14.10) in place of Ahmad Bradshaw (1.10) he would have won the game.  But then if the Klunebergs had started Antonio Brown (17.40) instead of DeSean Jackson (7.20), it would be a moot point.  What I'm saying is that they both left points behind and had very sad benches.

The Traveling Panty Droppers continues her run for the worst season of the year.  T.Y. Hilton (2.40) had his worst point scoring game of the season, as most of Luck's throws this week went to Coby Fleener who was a free agent for all of week eleven.  Hilton did better than Leon Washington (RB) who was in for the whole game but still scored 0.0 points.  Jordy Nelson has been performing well for 'Bout That Action, this is his second game as her high scorer (16.90 this week).  She's been making the right start/sit  decisions (Tom Brady over Matt Ryan) and is making up for lost time, currently with a three game winning streak. 

We are moving into week 12, and I want to remind everyone that playoffs start in week 15.  The top 4 teams make it to playoffs and the winner gets the trophy, and the top three get their share of the buy-in.  Speaking of the buy-in...I have a confession.  I collected the majority of the buy-ins at Camano during the draft, and I imbibed enough vacation beverages to not have a strong recollection of who paid me.  This is compounded by the fact that the rest of the weekend was made up of multiple, "I'll go to the store and buy this and you give me cash later" trips.  I ended up with minimal store trips and a cash total of zero.  I know for sure that The Legend and Offinthewoods have paid the buy-in, other than that....????  Send me a text and let me know - thanks!

Love and fantastic fuzzy memories,
Kiki

Turn Up the Heat!

Anyone who has read this blog lately knows that Josh and I have been playing fantasy football.  What you may not know is that it has really sparked our competitive sides.  We've started betting on just about everything.  From when the neighbor may or may not clean up the trash in their yard to whether or not our favorite band (Mariachi El Bronx), will play our favorite songs when we see them live.  It's gotten to the point where it's probably a little unhealthy.

Our competition has culminated in this ridiculousness:  not turning the heat on in the house.  We have the minimum thermostat at 56 so the pipes won't freeze, but, other than that, our only heat source is building a fire.  The first person to turn the heat on loses, and has to do a lap around the camper in powder at Crystal in just their underwear.  It's pretty intense.  Here is the temp gauge on our kitchen windowsill.

Our area has been hit with some pretty cold weather recently.  The low has been below freezing the past week or so and while we've had sun, the high has been around 50 degrees.  This weekend Leonard decided it was actually warmer outside in the sun, than in the house.

One of us has built a fire every day since the weather turned, and it has been an absolute necessity.  We still go to bed with sweatpants and sweatshirts on, and wear beanies around the house.  Our furnace does not have a fan only setting.  In order to get the air moving in our house, you have to turn the heat up by a degree to kick the fan on.   This of course would mean losing the bet.  So, even with the fire, the heat stays primarily in the main room, despite our elaborate fan system.

Our evenings consist of this often repeated conversation:

"It's awfully cold in here"
"It sure is, you should turn on the heat"
"No, you do it, just one little button, you're closer"
"Go ahead, push it! Please!"
"TURN THE HEAT ON!!"

We've only half-jokingly asked some of our friends to come over and turn the heat on, voiding our bet.  Remember how I said unhealthy?  Yeah....the following is not usually indoor attire.  Look, even Leonard is rolling his eyes at us.

The funniest part of the bet for me is the reasons why neither of us wants to give in.  I'm stubborn, and I just want to win.  Josh doesn't want to win so much as he wants to see me pay up on the bet.  Well, good news friends.  Last night Josh gave in, pushed the button, and I win...warmly!

Leonard's League 14/15 - Week Ten

The score was 89.66-87.08 (Iron Thighs ahead of Green Velvet Recliners) when the Eagles and the Panthers started their Monday Night Game.  It came down to a third quarter touchdown by Kelvin Benjamin, and the Green Velvet Recliners defeated Iron Thighs with Benjamin's season best total of 19.00 points.   Joe Flacco continues putting up disappointing fantasy numbers, this week it was 9.56, next week he won't be getting it up at all - he's on a bye.  Iron Thighs is still in 3rd place, but he's on a losing streak of 2 - this is his chance to get his team in order while he's licking his wounds.

The Traveling Panty Droppers are dropping trou and giving it away again.  She tried to update her team but must have seen something shiny because she got distracted, left her Kicker position open and played Rob Gronkowski on his bye week.  The Titans' 99.18 points was enough to win this game but as far as a point total they were ninth overall. The Kiegl Titans are still keeping things high and tight with an eight game winning streak and a solid first place in the league. 

156.60 points this week from...My Naginta Naginta?  Wait, that can't be right!  But it is!  Your Wife My Kids (90.30) went down hard to My Naginta.  Sunday evening at about 7pm My Naginta realized that his DEF was on a bye.  He saw that the Eagles (playing Monday night) were still available so he picked them up and scored.  In fact he scored 39.50 points with the Eagles.  Your Wife My Kids was missing Brandon LaFell and Dwayne Allen from bye weeks, hopefully he feels a little better knowing that there weren't any redeeming options available to save him from My Naginta's week 10 dominance.


Yobogoya and Offinthewoods were in a tense Monday night game, Yobogoya had Greg Olsen playing and to win she needed him to score 14.09, he got 11.90.  I was rooting for her, I really wanted Yobogoya to get a W with a TD on Monday night (just like me!), but mostly I didn't want her to lose to someone who didn't start a Kicker.  WTF?  I thought we've been over this - you can never have too many kickers!!  Has anyone else seen what Offinthewoods did to his team this week?  It's a freakin' fire sale over there!  Why'd he change it?  It worked against Yobogoya!  Maybe he was uncomfortable with winning?  Or perhaps he wants us all to go blind? 

The Klunebergs had a respectable week (100.98 points).  Unfortunately, his Kicker (Mason Crosby) was one of the high scorers.  Sure, 15.00 points is pretty good for a kicker.  But, when a WR (Mike Evans - 18.50), a Running Back (Steven Jackson - 15.50) and your DEF (Steelers - 16.00) just barely outscore your Kicker you have a problem.  The Legend's starting QB is the NFL's current living legend right now, Payton Manning is unstoppable with 29.60 points...that is until he goes up against the Hawks!  Last week Manning connected beautifully with Julius Thomas (18.30) and The Legend has added another chapter to his saga.

'Bout That Action has clawed her way up the leaderboard to ninth place.  That may sound passive aggressive...and it might be just a little...But seriously, I think this newbie is putting forth the effort...she's all business.  She ain't never seen no talking winning nothing.  She's just 'Bout That Action, Boss! The Canning Queen is on a 4 game losing streak and has been officially demoted to peasant status.  She's got fantastic players like Darren Sproles (22.60), and Jimmy Graham (19.60), so what's the deal?  Her players are consistently inconsistent.  The Canning Peasant needs them to get it together, but I fear it may be a lost cause.

Love to all,
Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 - Week Nine

Josh and I met up with a coworker to watch the Sunday afternoon games (Seahawks v. Raiders and Broncos v. Patriots) but we found out that we could only watch one.  CBS made the ridiculous decision to play both games, but since they started at the same time, you only got to watch one game depending on your location.  What is CBS - the new Thunderdome?  Two games enter.  One game leaves.  I love the Hawks and the Broncos, I want both!  That's why I went out to a bar - more TVs...and beer.

The Legend took down Iron Thighs with a score of 128.02 over 105.12.  The Thighs just underperformed, Andrew Hawkins (WR), Antonio Gates (TE), Ahmad Bradshaw (W/R), and Justin Tucker (K) totaled up for 19.10 points.  That just isn't going to cut it if you want to take home The Goat Trophy Thunder Thighs!  The Legend is living up to the hype, I want to give him a hard time for making a ridiculous number of changes to his lineup...but its working.  It's up to the Klunebergs this week...take him down!!

Speaking of The Klunebergs, he won his match against My Naginta Naginta by 25.47 points.  Not bad!  I hear the side bet was that My Naginta is now buying the first round at the Elk this year.  Even thought the Klunebergs got the win, he is going to have to do some changes for this week.  His Kicker (Nick Novak) got him zero, and his QB (Nick Foles) got him 5.06.  The Nicks don't seem to be working for you.  And I don't even know what to say about My Naginta...now seems like a great time to bet him for whatever you want - you'll win it!

Your Wife My Kids defeated Yobogoya.  Barely.  Things were pretty tense on Monday night Yoboyga had Andre Williams (10.60) and YWMK had Dwayne Allen (10.80).  If either of them had blown up, or failed miserably it would have been a game changer.  They both had solid, if not stellar performances and YWMK eked out a win by 4.28 points.  Yobogoya's team is on a four game losing streak, she's leaving skid marks all over the place and I suspect she is one very unhappy girl.

'Bout That Action beat offinthewoods, and even more impressively she is the high scorer for the week!  Even if you aren't getting any at home you are getting some on the board - Congrats!  Percy has found his stride as Jet (22.50).  The Rams DEF (26.40) and Tom Brady (26.72) all put in solid performances.  'Bout that Action's got a new name, a solid lineup and may have a little something to prove.  When Ben Roethlesberger (32.70) and Marshawn Lynch (26.30) aren't enough, what do you do?  I don't know, but offinthewoods better figure it out or his 1-8 record will turn into a spectacularly awful season.

The Kiegl Titans beat the Canning Queen and I'm only surprised because of the low scores!!  87.86 to 78.12.  This was a close and low scoring game.  The Canning Queen would have done much better if Phillip Rivers hadn't gotten her -5.18 points.  That's right - NEGATIVE.  So what if he hurt his throwing hand, a 0-37 loss to the dolphins is wrong.  Speaking of wrong...The Titans are on a winning streak of seven.  This is unacceptable, we can't have duck dominance in this league!  Lets hope the Traveling Panty Droppers can hold it together another week.

The Green Velvet Recliners are sad.  It seems like the more smack she talks the worse her team does.  This week she suffered a crushing loss to the Traveling Panty Droppers.  Jordan Reed (1.70) and Kelvin Benjamin (1.80) both had disappointing performances.  But the Recliners still put up a respectable 104.76 - thank you Andrew Luck (29.66) and Alfred Morris (22.90)!  The Traveling Panty Droppers made some great lineup changes by starting Matt Asiata (25.70) and Jeremy Hill (28.30).  Looks like she finally found her big girl panties and she is rocking them.

Love to All!
Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15-Week Eight

I love that everyone decided to get into the Halloween Spirit early.  I didn't realize we were all so into the Holiday - here's a run down of everybody's costumes :)

Inspired by Ben Roethlisberger's 44.78 points and his ridiculous throwback uniform, Offinthewoods dressed up as a bumblebee.  The Kiegl Titans decided to go as Oprah.  I heard her yelling to her Dolphins Defense (31.20 points) "you get 4 sacks, and you get 3 turnovers", she can't give away free stuff every episode, but her blend of hard hitting journalism and inspirational stories motivated her team to a 96.86 victory over offinthewoods.  Or did she intimidate her opponent?  Roethlisberger's total was 53% of offinthewood's score.  His Kicker (Gould), two WR's (Green and Quick), and his W/R RB (Bush), got a grand total of 3.90 points.  Ouch, that stings.  I always knew Oprah controlled everything.

Yobogoya has now lost three in a row, and just as she seems to be having poor taste in setting a lineup (I picked up Fitzgerald from her and he just had the 22.00 game of his season), she also has poor taste in costumes.  Our League's favorite heartbreaker, Wes Welker, had a whopping 0.50 points, her QB Cam Newton rocked a 2.24, and her TE Greg Olsen only had 16 receiving yards for 1.60 points.  She decided to try and contain her team's problems and opted for the sexy ebola containment suit. Not to be outdone the Klunebergs took Antonio Brown's 2 TDs (27.40 points), Mark Ingram's 1 TD and 172 rushing yards (23.50 points), the Patriot's 2 turnovers & 3 sacks (18.70 points) and showed Yobogoya what a hot healthcare worker really looks like.  He's got things under control with a smoldering stare as the original Dr. McDreamy, Dr. Doug Ross from E.R.

Iron Thigh's scored an impressive 134.20, not as good as his (then) record setting 153.32 last week, but nothing to laugh at.  In fact, My Naginta Naginta didn't find it funny at all, dressed as Dr. Spock, he failed to see the humor in any of this week's match ups.  It was highly illogical!  More than half of his team failed to score more than 6 points.  Iron Thighs showed up as Yoda and tried to console My Naginta  "Relax you must. Only by 20.98 beat you did I."  Iron Thigh's low scoring player was his QB (Joe Flacco - 4.00), the rest of them scored over 10, and Golden Tate's 21.10 points has the potential to improve if he can get his catch ratio above 65%.  At least My Naginta tried - his 113.22 total was his 2nd highest score of the season, but lets face reality here: Do, or do not.  There is no try.

'Bout That Action thought she could flatter the refs by showing up as a zebra, and hopefully they would overlook some calls, but her plan backfired.  She quickly became prey to Your Wife My Kids.  He showed up as a lion to support his DEF in London.  They only earned 4 points, but he said "Hakuna Matata" and seemed ok with it.  The Refs were not amused with 'Bout That Action's costume, they gave her Packers DEF 8 penalties for a loss of 84 yards, took away Harvin's 21 yard run with a holding penalty, and then took away his 11 yard follow up play with another holding call.  The Packers got zero points on the fantasy board, Harvin still managed 19.40, but 'Bout That Action only made it to 85.74 points.  Not enough to beat Your Wife My Kids' 104.20, it's still a bit early for him to be breaking out in song, but he watched Jamaal Charles (23.70 points) 13 receptions for 2 touchdowns and started singing "I Just Can't Wait to be King".

They weren't sure about the couples costume, but they have a friendly rivalry, so The Canning Queen and the Traveling Panty Droppers decided to show up together as the Red Jaguars and the Blue Barracuda from Legends of the Hidden Temple.  The Red Jaguars (Canning Queen) looked like the clear winner at the Moat Phase on Thursday (Phillip Rivers 17.78) and through most of the Steps of Knowledge on Sunday (Seattle DEF with 18.20 and a much needed win).  But the Blue Barracuda (Traveling Panty Droppers) made some changes to her lineup, and although she only started one of them (Jacquizz Rodgers - 3.00), it worked.  She took the lead and dominated the Temple Run with a 32.90 contribution from Rob Gronkowski.  Ultimately, the Canning Queen outscored her projections by 34%, but it wasn't enough to take home the Shrine of the Silver Monkey and the Traveling Panty Droppers racked up her 2nd win.

The Green Velvet Recliners had a good week.  Her QB (Andrew Luck, 24.60), star RB (Matt Forte 24.80 -no surprise here, Forte is consistently amazing), and WR (Larry Fitzgerald 22.00 - thanks Yobogoya!) all performed fantastically.  She thought that when she showed up to the party as Ironman, everyone would be super impressed.  But, The Legend got wind of her costume early and decided to one up the Recliners.  His QB (Peyton Manning, 23.44), RB (Arian Foster, 35.30), and WR (Jeremy Maclin, 33.20) all had performances that upstaged her team.  It sucks when you think you've got it in the bag with 123.20 points but you just can't measure up to The Legend and his new league high score of 161.34.

Happy Halloween!!

Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 - Week Seven

In Week Six the Canning Queen's QB (Phillip Rivers) and DEF (Seahawks) really tied the team together.  This week they went up against the Green Velvet Recliners and got peed on by a Chinaman. Dude! Chinaman is NOT the preferred nomenclature.  Alright...how about peed on by a bear?  Because Matt Forte had another fantastic week with 22.90 points, more than Rivers and the Hawks combined.  Andrew Luck came through again with 18.26 - that's a hell of a white Russian, Jackie!  He's not Russian...But Canning Queen's RB's were rushin' for a combined 96 yards and it still wasn't enough to save her so MARK IT ZERO!!  Nobody f*cks with The Recliners.

The Legend and My Naginta Naginta faced off in an office grudge match.  The Legend was in an odd spot this week with Denver and Manning (his QB) facing off against the 49rs (his DEF).  Who do you root for in that situation?  Manning dominated with 26.62 points, so the 1.70 points from the 49rs was bearable, besides it's the niners you can't root for them anyway.  My Naginta Naginta has been having a rough go of it lately he's got good players, they're just not showing up with their game faces on.  In fact, I overheard him giving them a pep talk to them this morning it sounded a lot like this:



Hold on to your butts ladies and gentlemen because the Traveling Panty Droppers kept her panties on!  Her losing streak is over but I'm not quite sure how.  She made zero changes to her lineup, and I'm guessing that she didn't even watch a single play from all of Week Seven.  I guess this shows that even a broken clock is right on occasion?  That doesn't say nice things about offinthewoods either, your loss looks even worse because of your opponent's inattention.  Offinthewoods is going to have take a good look at his team (56.70 total points in Week Seven) if he wants a snowball's chance in hell of getting off his losing streak and beating the Kiegl Titans.

Yobogoya had lost before, but the first time was to the Green Velvet Recliners (girls don't count), and the second time was to a masked man no one knows, he was just a Legend anyway.  She wanted her real first time to be special.  So Iron Thighs lit some candles to set the mood, he chose scents from Yankee Candle's little-known NFL collection - Demarius Thomas (29.10), Golden Tate (21.40) and DeMarco Murray (19.20).  She played hard to get with Randall Cobb's 121 receiving yards and 22.10 total points.  On Sunday afternoon with Cam Newton's 13-yard pass for a TD, he let her take the lead, which we all know is the true sign of a gentleman.  But even Le'Veon Bell's 20.50 points were just token resistance and Iron Thighs had his way with her.  She'll always remember her first.

Russell Wilson's fantasy potential is looking up with 33.90 points (and the Green Velvet Recliners are having second thoughts about rejecting that trade offer), Wilson and the Dolphins Defense carried the Kiegl Titans to a low scoring victory over Your Wife My Kids.  Your Wife My Kids has some good performances from Roddy White (16.00), Dwayne Allen (11.20) and Jamaal Charles (16.70), but without something stellar, or even solid from the rest of the team, there isn't much to be excited about.

Wrong Turn has found her way!  She is no longer lost and she took down The Klunebergs with a strong 19.70 point lead.  The Klunebergs had some disappointing numbers from several players, Mark Ingram (2.90) and Fred Jackson (2.80) both went out with injuries and Matt Ryan (6.82) fumbled once and got sacked 5 times.  But it wasn't about the Klunebergs failure to launch it was about Wrong Turn's mastery of her lineup.  Look out folks because Wrong Turn is now all 'Bout that Action.





The Lions vs. Falcons game kicks off in London this Sunday at 9:30am ET. Remember to set your lineups early!  That's right - London...?  Grab a cup of tea and enjoy the game...wait, it's still American Football - have a damn cup of coffee!

Peace, Love and 'Merica!
Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 - Week Six

There has been some serious changes to our leader board.  Check it out

Cam Newton (34.06) and Larry Fitzgerald (15.80) had excellent weeks, and both players briefly occupied spaces on Yobogoya's starting lineup.  However Newton spent week 6 riding the pine, while Fitzgerald was dropped for Michael Crabtree (10.90 on the bench).  Will you borrow a couple of my players for a bit?  They need the Yobogoya touch to give them a fantastic week when you don't want them any more. To be fair, playing the right guys still wouldn't have saved Yobogoya from The Legend.  He continues to ride the Manning/Thomas pony off into the sunset for another win, Arian Foster's 2 TDs, 20 carries and 109 rushing yards didn't hurt either.

The Titans are a tough team to keep track of, there's a lot of add/drops and now some trades in the mix too.  Whatever they're doing, its working. The Kiegl Titans have taken over the number 1 spot in the League from the Klunebergs.  They racked up an impressive 127.14 total to his 81.04. The Klunebergs leave very few points on the bench and he's currently the second best coach in the League (behind yours truly), he just had some performance issues this week.  I did ask the Titans to tighten the gap, maybe it was a bit much? Don't worry, I hear it happens to lots of guys.

Despite the loss of a good WR (Victor Cruz went down with a painful looking knee injury), the Green Velvet Recliners claimed the win over My Naginta Naginta.  Nagtina's had two players who were practically identical:  The C.Johnsons (Chris and Calvin).  They look the same on the line up, they both had bad weeks and they both have ankle injuries.  Actually, Naginta's whole lineup was a bit of a let down, except Aaron Rodgers (22.96).  My advice: better discount double check your team if you want to hold your own against the Legend.  Don't forget - the bet this week was that if Naginta lost, he had to take a blow job shot.  For your viewing pleasure:

This week Iron Thighs and Wrong Turn celebrated their anniversary (congrats!!) by going head to head and matching the Green Velvet Recliners/Naginta Naginta bet.  Unfortunately for Wrong Turn, who really has a fantastic team despite her 0-6 record, she now has to pay up by shotgunning a beer.  Iron Thighs took her to Pound Town with a score of 128.04 over 108.84.  "Wrong Turn" is so negative, you need a new team name, something to celebrate the good things you've got going...be proud of that Percy (Harvin)!

Its official.  She's an easy win.  The Traveling Panty Droppers started the Saints Defense and Drew Brees - a great way to watch a game and root for the same team, but a poor decision when that team is on a Bye.  Montee Ball also made her starting lineup, and he has a groin strain placing him on inactive status for at least a few weeks.  Regardless of his sub-par competition, Your Wife My Kids still gets credit for the win, his defense (Lions) registered 8 sacks showing that even though the city is bankrupt at least the Defensive front has some life in it.

Offinthewoods suffered another loss, this time to the Canning Queen.  AJ Green sat out with a toe injury - a toe?!  You want a toe?  I can get you a toe, Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish! Forget about the toe! - the Canning Queen's combo of the Seahawks Defense (25.20- pity the offense couldn't turn that into something) and Phillip Rivers (24.82) really tied the team together. 

Happy Thursday Night Football folks!

Love to all,
Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 - Week Five

Hello Leonard's League!  It's been a wild week since I talked to you all last but everything, and everyone is going to be ok.  It will be a long road, but we may as well enjoy some football while we travel it!!

My Naginta Naginta lost to Yobogoya and that kid is BACK on the escalator!  Yobogoya is BACK in the number two spot and the Harts are BACK on top of the leaderboard.  We are being conditioned to fear and respect that leaderboard!  You know its bad when the default NFL recap says that "Yobogoya crushed My Naginta Naginta".  Poor Naginta, he can see it, he knows it's a Schooner, he just can't get his team to stop calling it a Sailboat!

Wrong Turn scored 98.06 points this week.  This means there were 8 opponents who she could have claimed her first win over.  If you look at wins/losses she is 11th in the league, but if you look at points she is 8th!  Unfortunately for her this week (and every other week so far), she was outscored by her opponent, the only one that really matters.  The Legend rode the bucking Bronco team of Peyton Manning and Julius Thomas all the way up to 4th place.  Nice work fairy tale.

Offinthewoods took matters into his own right hand man - with Marshawn Lynch's Monday night performance, he finally found satisfaction.  The Green Velvet Recliners had disappointing performances from Kelvin Benjamin, Victor Cruz, and Alfred Morris.  I didn't get this one, but at least I'm getting some!

By a slim 6.52 points the Canning Queen Lost to Your Wife My Kids.  Not much sympathy from me though, the Queen left our favorite player on the bench!  Granted Welker only would have helped her out for 2 more points, he still broke the league's record for most catches by an undrafted player.  Now that he is off his suspensions and (presumably) off the dope - Nobody puts baby in the corner.  And Your Wife My Kids?  He carried a watermelon.  For the win!

The Traveling Panty Droppers dropped the ball again and gave it up to the Klunebergs.  This was a low scoring game, but the Klunebergs are still leading the pack, he maintains his #1 ranking and is outscoring us all...by a lot so far this season.  Seriously, the next closest point total is 27.16 points below him.  Next week the Kiegl Titans take him on...kick his ass seabass!  Or at least help us tighten that gap!

Speaking of the Kiegl Titans - they have Russel Wilson as a QB who not only carried the Hawks on Monday, but carried the Titans to a solid win over Iron Thighs.  Larry Donnell scored the Thighs a big fat zero, but at least Joe Flacco had a good game.  Oh, wait...57% pass completion and an interception? hmmm...well, all things considered the Thighs held their own!

This week we have 2 homes that will be in turmoil as My Naginta Naginta faces off against the Green Velvet Recliners and Wrong Turn goes up against Iron Thighs.  If I win My Naginta will be taking a blow job shot at the next bar we go to, if he wins I will be attempting to shotgun my first beer.  Wish your favorite Schafer luck everyone, there will be video.  Gallasch's - what are the stakes?

Much Love,
Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 - Week Four

It's week 4 and we currently have 6 teams tied with 3-1 win-loss records (Klunebergs, Green Velvet Recliners, Yobogoya, My Naginta Naginta, Kiegl Titans and Iron Thighs).

Down at the bottom of the leaderboard....I just googled "what is the opposite of undefeated", I guess there isn't really a word for it.  So we'll go with this:  We have 3 teams of perpetual losers who still haven't won a game (Travelling Panty Droppers, Offinthewoods, Wrong Turn).  Ouch guys, get your shit together!

Despite a tough loss to Canning Queen, the Klunebergs retain their #1 spot with a total of 458.4 points scored so far this season.  This brings the Canning Queen up to a 2-2 record and 8th place.  Phillip Rivers seems to be hitting his stride, is the Queen hitting hers?

The Green Velvet Recliners brought down the Hart reign of terror and bumped Yobogoya from her #2 spot, beating her 124.52 to 90.58.  It wasn't that Yobogoya had a terrible week.  More that the Green Velvet Recliners got Andrew Luck(y) for 29.62 points and had solid performances from the rest of my lineup.

Your Wife My Kids beat Offinthewoods this week.  Apparently you don't have to be an old married couple for things to slow down at home.  I think Offinthewoods is losing on purpose, just so I can make this joke every week.  Thanks!

There is no dressing this one up.  Wrong Turn got screwed by Tom Brady - 2.36 points?!  That's tough, especially since she only lost to My Naginta Naginta by 13.62 points, easily a number Brady should've been able to make up.  Although My Naginta had strong performances from QB, RB, and DEF positions.  That's My Naginta!  Sexy Naginta!

Despite a pitiful 2.90 points from Nick Foles, the Kiegl Titans turned The Legend into an adorable Fairy Tale and knocked him down 4 places to 7th.  For this week the Titans have made some serious lineup changes, if it worked last week, why change it so much?  Is it like the Duck uniforms?  Wear it once and throw it out?  All you need now is some fancy feathers on your shoulders!

Congratulations to Iron Thighs for getting the top score of the week and the season.  149.18, that's impressive, but there is no way he can sustain those kind of numbers.  Right?  The Traveling Panty Droppers continue to give it away, she scored 46% of Iron's totals.  Alright honey, its time for a pep talk.  Quit dropping your drawers, it's littering.  Come on, come on!  You did so good last year...Feel it, Feel it!  It's about that time to bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme! Oh wait...does that even count as a pep talk?



Coming up this week is a rough time in the Your Wife My Kids/Canning Queen household.  I hope you two are betting something awesome on the outcome of this week's match.  Let us know what it is!

I know three of you who had team names assigned by me.  Do you really love your team name that much?  I'm creative, but I suck at coming up with team names.  Anybody have any suggestions for a good Ragnar name?  Also, anyone want to run in it?? I've got a team going I just need to fill it up with runners...and I've got a few spots left!  Wait...focus...my orignal point: you can totally change your team name to something you'd love and are willing to have tattooed on your ass.  Just sayin'.

Much Love!
Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 - Week Three

How is everyone this week?  After the Hawks/Broncos game Sunday night, I'm still a bit tense.  I'm a fan of both teams, and I would have loved for Sunday's game to have been last year's Championship...alas we got a boring runaway of a Big Game and a nail biter on Sunday night.  It was still a kick-ass game and its awesome to see the Hawks come out on top.  AGAIN.

Wrong Turn is still a little lost but she seems to be getting her bearings.  Her last minute add of Cody Parkey worked out well for her, 15 points from a kicker...you can never have too many kickers.  Despite her improved performance she lost this week by 3 points to Yobogoya.  Rashad Jenning's performance (23.60 points) provided Yobogoya with the tasty brown treat she needed to secure the win.

This week the Klunebergs beat offinthewoods.  What's wrong gentlemen, are the wives slacking in their marital duties?  The Klunebergs scored an impressive 139.84 points, with 6 of his players scoring over 17 points.  Wow.  Unfortunately for offinthewoods Ryan Matthews left his game with a sprained MCL - which meant a giant 0 on the board, and a solid 15 points left on the bench with Reggie Bush.  If its any consolation, at least you didn't stand a chance!

At 7:45am on Sunday, the Green Velvet Recliners (and My Naginta Naginta) were on their way to the Beat the Blerch 10k.  At 8:30am Bernard Peirce's status was updated to inactive.  The 10k was awesome - easily the best organized race I've been a part of, but, Pierce's status change went unnoticed until I was done running and his game was in it's third quarter.  Damn.  In all fairness a similar thing happened to Your Wife My Kids with Roddy White.  Regardless, the Recliners pulled out the W!

The Kiegl Titans had a disappointing Thursday night with B.Rainey forgetting to use his brain and fumbling twice.  He ended up with 6.50 points but at one point had -0.90.  The Titans needed to tighten up for the rest of the week, and unfortunately for My Naginta - they did.   Unlike the Ducks, at least the Titans won this one fair and square, my Naginta had the low score of the week with 56.08 total points.

The Traveling Panty Droppers dropped another round, this time to The Legend and she has traveled all the way to the bottom of leaderboard.  This makes last year's champion 0-3, and her GOAT title is in serious jeopardy.  The Legend has sneakily worked his way up to third place in the league - who invited this guy?

Iron Thighs mastered the Canning Queen in Week 3.  Both DeMarco Murray and Knile Davis (Iron Thighs' RBs) had performances for Suzanne Somers to be proud of with two easy payments of 17.10 and 17.20.  The Canning Queen needs to take things Step by Step and look at beefing up her WR lineup.  Watkins, Welker, and Wayne - these three don't seem to be good company for the Queen.

The Hart Household is currently undefeated.  Yobogoya and The Klunebergs are on top of the standings.  We'll see if that holds up through week 4...I go up against Yobogoya so I'm thinking not.

Here is the link to the leaderboard

Lots of Love,
Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 - Week Two

Leonard's League Week Two

Wrong Turn suffered another loss, this time to the Green Velvet Recliners.  The Green Velvet Recliner's gambled on replacing Jordan Cameron (who as of Saturday evening was still up in the air on whether or not he'd play) with Delanie Walker which ended up being a great call as Walker scored 20 points.  Tom Brady's continued poor fantasy performance could end up being a real problem for Wrong Turn. 


Keigl Titans fell to Yobogoya in the closest match of the week.  Both teams had a player injured mid-game so that didn't help either of them, but at least it was even?  Not much consolation there, it sucks to see somebody get hurt on the field.

The Traveling Panty Droppers lost to My Naginta Naginta.  My Naginta Naginta scored almost double what the Panty's put on the board with a ridiculous 34.20 points from the Bills Defense.  Come on Panties...don't live up to your team name, make us work for it! You have a trophy to defend.


The Canning Queen has recovered nicely from the loss of Wes Welker (I'm still mourning), she beat the Legend and boasts the highest score of the week, even with the sad performance by the Hawks Defense pulling her down.  Well done, Chica!  The Legend still looked pretty good, and facing almost any other opponent this week he would have won.  Bummer.

The Klunebergs dominated again this week, showing up Your Wife My Kids in an odd match with very disappointing performances on both sides (Pierre Garcon and RGIII), interestingly enough RGIII's injury contributed to Garcon's sub-par performance...How's that for a fantasy twist?

Iron Thighs beat Offinthewoods ;)  Say it out loud - we're all adults here.  Despite Iron Thigh's first win, this was still the lowest scoring match of the week, and Offinthewoods' WRs boasted a combined total of zero.  This is the first public shaming for an incomplete lineup.  CHECK YOUR TEAMS people! 

The defensive change this year that allows points for a punt return is turning out to be quite the difference maker.  5 defenses scored over 15 points this week, and 3 of them scored over 20 so make sure and watch your D...because this year it matters.

Here is the link to the leaderboard - go check it out!

Hopefully this next week will be one where the sportscasters are talking about sports...not scandals.

Much Love,
Kiki

Fantasy Football - Week 1

For the second year running I've been a part of a Fantasy Football league.  We call it Leonard's League and its a fantastic excuse to hang out with friends, watch football and win...naturally.  Last year I did a few updates on the weekly games, but this year I'll make it a weekly thing.  AND, instead of just sending out an email, I post it here.  For those of you not involved in the league, or not into football, it might not be very entertaining, but the blog is about what Josh and I are up to and right now this is it!

Here is week one's update:

Hola!

How's everyone feeling?  I'm currently loving the start of football season and the change to Fall weather.  Last week we had some good games, and some ridiculous runaways.  I probably won't recap every week, but here we go...

The Green Velvet Recliners were thoroughly trounced by the Klunebergs.  I did some shit talking ahead of time, this may have been my downfall.  That and stellar performances by a couple of the Kluneberg WRs.  I will take solace in the fact that the Klunebergs are currently ranked #1, at least I got beat by the best.

Yobogoya killed the Traveling Panty Droppers.  Good work taking down the reigning champ!  Yobogoya has a pretty solid WR/RB lineup, so I'd watch out for her this year.

The Canning Queen was canned by My Naginta Naginta.  I think the blame for that can be laid at the feet of Wes Welker.   He was the hero of my team last year, but a positive drug test, WTF?!  Although a kicker with 17 points is nothing to laugh at for My Naginta.

Wrong Turn had a disappointing introduction to Fantasy with her team scoring only 60% of their projection - ouch.  This wasn't a high scoring game for either team but the Titans have some serious potential going forward and with a Percy Harvin anchor I think Wrong Turn will be one to watch out for...she did win the draft!

Your Wife My Kids and Iron Thighs played another low scoring match with Your Wife coming out on top.  Sorry Gentlemen, there's not much to say about this match - both of your teams sucked last week.

Off in the Woods was actually off in the woods all last week, he was stuck in Homer, Alaska while his team lost a high scoring battle by a couple of points to The Legend.  They both had non-QB players score over 24 points - well done.

Historically the ladies have kicked ass, Canning Queen, Wrong Turn, Panty Droppers and the Green Velvet Recliners (me)...we need to step our game!

This week should be a better one, at least as far as the NFL is concerned.  Two MNF games last week - that was just weird.  The Hawks play at 1 on Sunday, I'll be at a family reunion if someone could text me updates I'd be a happy girl!

Much Love,
Kiki

Sharks!!

My Dad (Jim) has been a certified SCUBA diver since I was about 2 years old.  He got certified in Japan, and enjoyed the waters off Okinawa.  After he moved back to Washington he pretty much stopped SCUBA (too cold for him here), but every time he goes on a warm weather vacation he finds a local dive shop and checks out the waters.  When he took me with him to Vieques, I got to experience SCUBA for the first time and I loved it!

I've been toying with the idea of getting certified ever since Vieques and Josh (being the amazing husband that he is), must have heard me, because the certificate he got me to become a certified diver for my birthday was perfect.  I am now a certified SCUBA diver!

I've got a few dives under my weight belt and I am completely hooked.  I love it - I've seen Giant Pacific Octopus, Baby Red Octopus, Squid, crabs, lingcod as big as me, and tons of other sealife that I knew existed but never expected to see swimming outside of an aquarium.

I have this compulsion - if I love something I have to share it.  "Try this caramel frappuccino, its AMAZING"; "You've never been shooting?!  It's so much fun!  Come with me."; "You haven't read The Name of the Wind? It is a phenomenal book - read it...And then suffer with me until the third book of the trilogy comes out!".  Naturally, this compulsion extends to SCUBA.

I'm fairly certain that with enough enthusiasm I could convince my Dad to try almost anything with me, he's an adventurous guy (although he won't jump out of a plane with me...I've tried).  But, I wanted to ask him to be my dive buddy in the 52 degree waters of Washington in a fun way.  For his Birthday in May I gave him a card and told him that his present was to pick a day from a few options, and that he'd find out what he was doing later.  On Father's Day I gave him the only small shark figurine I could find, incidentally the ugliest one I've ever seen - to tell him what we were doing.

We had a date to jump in the shark tank at the Point Defiance Zoo!

Point Defiance Zoo offers the Eye to Eye Shark Dive for certified divers.  They set you up with all the gear and they guide you an open dive into the South Pacific Aquarium, full of nurse sharks, sandbar sharks, a Wobbegong, a black-tip reef shark, a sand tiger shark and a Lemon Shark (her name is Liz!).  They also offer a cage-dive for non-certified divers.  But this is my Dad and I, so no cage needed!!

We met with our guide (GiAnn) outside the aquarium and she took us into the back for a safety talk and to get suited up.  This is the easiest dive (equipment wise), probably in the world.  I didn't have to think about anything, it was all provided and I even had help putting on my dry suit and the rest of the equipment.  Thanks to the Aquarium staff for that awesomeness!

The sharks were huge!  It seemed like every shark except for the Wobbegong and the black tip reef shark were bigger than me, and they were still so graceful.  It was beautiful to be in their environment floundering around, and watching them move effortlessly.

Check out this video of us on the dive.  This was taken right at the beginning, just after we jumped in.  Seeing a pile of nurse sharks and the Wobbegong tucked under the rock was a great way to start off the dive!  You can also see small fish in this video.  These are the little damsels that help keep the tank clean.  They are easily the meanest things in the tank.  They are extremely territorial and they were defending their turf from Dad and I aggressively.  They would grab hold of a little bit of material (part of your glove or drysuit), and shake it like Leonard with rawhide.  It didn't hurt, but its a good thing those guys are small.  At the end of the dive the aquarium had the videos they took of us for sale, and Dad bought the set for us - it came with the cutest flash drive I've ever seen - look!

My favorite part was looking up as the sharks swam over us.  The sharks were completely fearless and they swam over us often - here is a video of them going right over us.  You can see Dad looking down in the sand and picking stuff up.  They told us that any teeth we found, we could keep - Dad and each have a small handful of souvenirs!

This was the perfect introduction to SCUBA for my Dad and I.  We have a couple of dives planned already, and I'm looking forward to exploring the Puget Sound with him.