In Week Six the Canning Queen's QB (Phillip Rivers) and DEF (Seahawks) really tied the team together. This week they went up against the Green Velvet Recliners and got peed on by a Chinaman. Dude! Chinaman is NOT the preferred nomenclature. Alright...how about peed on by a bear? Because Matt Forte had another fantastic week with 22.90 points, more than Rivers and the Hawks combined. Andrew Luck came through again with 18.26 - that's a hell of a white Russian, Jackie! He's not Russian...But Canning Queen's RB's were rushin' for a combined 96 yards and it still wasn't enough to save her so MARK IT ZERO!! Nobody f*cks with The Recliners.
The Legend and My Naginta Naginta faced off in an office grudge match. The Legend was in an odd spot this week with Denver and Manning (his QB) facing off against the 49rs (his DEF). Who do you root for in that situation? Manning dominated with 26.62 points, so the 1.70 points from the 49rs was bearable, besides it's the niners you can't root for them anyway. My Naginta Naginta has been having a rough go of it lately he's got good players, they're just not showing up with their game faces on. In fact, I overheard him giving them a pep talk to them this morning it sounded a lot like this:
Hold on to your butts ladies and gentlemen because the Traveling Panty Droppers kept her panties on! Her losing streak is over but I'm not quite sure how. She made zero changes to her lineup, and I'm guessing that she didn't even watch a single play from all of Week Seven. I guess this shows that even a broken clock is right on occasion? That doesn't say nice things about offinthewoods either, your loss looks even worse because of your opponent's inattention. Offinthewoods is going to have take a good look at his team (56.70 total points in Week Seven) if he wants a snowball's chance in hell of getting off his losing streak and beating the Kiegl Titans.
Yobogoya had lost before, but the first time was to the Green Velvet Recliners (girls don't count), and the second time was to a masked man no one knows, he was just a Legend anyway. She wanted her real first time to be special. So Iron Thighs lit some candles to set the mood, he chose scents from Yankee Candle's little-known NFL collection - Demarius Thomas (29.10), Golden Tate (21.40) and DeMarco Murray (19.20). She played hard to get with Randall Cobb's 121 receiving yards and 22.10 total points. On Sunday afternoon with Cam Newton's 13-yard pass for a TD, he let her take the lead, which we all know is the true sign of a gentleman. But even Le'Veon Bell's 20.50 points were just token resistance and Iron Thighs had his way with her. She'll always remember her first.
Russell Wilson's fantasy potential is looking up with 33.90 points (and the Green Velvet Recliners are having second thoughts about rejecting that trade offer), Wilson and the Dolphins Defense carried the Kiegl Titans to a low scoring victory over Your Wife My Kids. Your Wife My Kids has some good performances from Roddy White (16.00), Dwayne Allen (11.20) and Jamaal Charles (16.70), but without something stellar, or even solid from the rest of the team, there isn't much to be excited about.
Wrong Turn has found her way! She is no longer lost and she took down The Klunebergs with a strong 19.70 point lead. The Klunebergs had some disappointing numbers from several players, Mark Ingram (2.90) and Fred Jackson (2.80) both went out with injuries and Matt Ryan (6.82) fumbled once and got sacked 5 times. But it wasn't about the Klunebergs failure to launch it was about Wrong Turn's mastery of her lineup. Look out folks because Wrong Turn is now all 'Bout that Action.
The Lions vs. Falcons game kicks off in London this Sunday at 9:30am ET. Remember to set your lineups early! That's right - London...? Grab a cup of tea and enjoy the game...wait, it's still American Football - have a damn cup of coffee!
Peace, Love and 'Merica!
Kiki
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