Leonard's League 14/15 Week Fifteen

You know the elf on the shelf ?  I'd give you a link to the website and story, but I tried and the background of the site moves with my mouse and makes me want to vomit.  Nauseating website design does not get a link from me.  The just of it is: a family adopts an elf who gets a name from the kids and the elf has magic to fly to Santa every night and report on whether the kids have been good.  The elf flies back every day and he moves locations in the house so the kids know he left and came back.  Creepy right?  Well, this year, like our favorite "The League" family, the Green Velvet Recliners adopted an elf on the shelf and named it Kiegl.  Kiegl the Titan Who Frightened.  At first the Titan had a lot of power, she popped up everywhere!  She won nine of the first ten weeks, and frightened all of Leonard's League.  Then as the season wore on she started to lose her powers.  In week 15, despite solid performances from Brandon Marshall (21.00), and Russell Wilson (20.22), she couldn't break 100 points.  The Green Velvet Recliners rallied to keep the Titan that Frightened from making it into the championship round with respectable 13+ point performances from two thirds of her team. Odell Beckham was on fire with 32.20 points and with his performance the Recliners destroyed any hope Kiegl the Titan Who Frightened had for a championship win this year.

The Klunebergs went up against My Naginta Naginta and I heard the side bet was a BJ.  Seriously guys?  They were looking to keep a low profile so it was a low scoring game.  The high scorer of the week was Tony Romo with 17.50 and three TD passes for the Klunebergs.  Antonio Brown (16.60) couldn't score, but still had an impressive 10 catches on 10 targets for the Klunebergs.  None of My Naginta's players brokeback nine points, although every player did score over three points which is the first time he can say that all season.  Ouch.  It was a pretty clear win for The Klunebergs (57.70 to 97.60) so we know who is on top.  No word yet on whether Naginta will pay up.

Yobogoya's quarterback, Drew Stanton, didn't show up to the game (3.66 points), and neither did Rashad Jennings (one of her RB's 0.30 points), oddly though, it turned out alright for her, as Your Wife My Kids didn't show up at all.  His high scorer was Alshon Jeffery with 13.80, and his grand total was 76.42.  I heard he was inspired by Yobogoya (for reference/Yobogoya jingle click this link), but he decided to go with the American version and he picked up some hot pockets.  YWMK should have known that Yo Yo Yo Yobogoya would destroy ya!  Here is Jim Gaffigan explaining why taking inspiration from the cheapest bucket of beef in our League-a was YWMK's downfall this week.



All season The Legend has dominated - he leads the league in points by a solid quarterback performance (22.64).  This week he was Legen...wait for it...dairy.  All his hard work this season has been udderly destroyed in one week by Iron Thighs.   Three of Iron Thighs players milked it for all they were worth and scored over 18 points.  DeMarco Murray (20.40),  Demariyius Thomas (18.30) and Devin Hester (23.30), well done - that is how you make the championship round!  The Legend's defense, the Chiefs, did great with 38.20 points, but a defense should not make up 33% of a total score.  You need to beef up your team and get them to score more than 12 points! Oh? One did?  Manning - your 12.02 doesn't cownt.  Iron Thighs started out the season a bit shaky, but he didn't climb the ladder, he became the ladder and beat The LegenDairy over the head with it (much like a bad pun), and doesn't LegenDairy look sheepish.

Alright - I realize this doesn't really belong here, and I won't make a habit of it, but:  I'm pissed off that some asshole in North Korea can get a bunch people he has oppressed and brainwashed to hack a huge international company, threaten the American public with violence and get away with it.  I don't care that the movie is in poor taste, I would probably never watch it, and certainly wouldn't find it funny.  But WTF?! Keep your callow, bloated, little man complex-driven, twisted sense of pride and justice out of my country you pretentious, marshmallow faced man child!  If this movie comes out in some fashion, which it should (Sony you spineless sucktards!),  I'm going to see it.  Just wait till we all find out that Sony was really behind this whole thing and wow did this publicity stunt work...

Ok....back to business.

It's the Final Countdown!! Or Week...its the final week.  Here are the matchups:

Green Velvet Recliners vs. Iron Thighs for the win!
Winner gets the G.O.A.T. and the pot of $40
Loser gets sad, 2nd place and $15

Kiegl Titans vs. The Legend for third
Winner gets third and $5
Loser gets nothing

Klunebergs vs. Yobogoya for fifth
Winner gets bragging rights

Your Wife My Kids vs. My Naginta Naginta for seventh
Winner gets bragging rights

Go Green Velvet Recliners!

Much Love,
Kiki