Leonard's League 15/16 Week Six

You know what I realized this morning?  I haven't talked about rankings AT ALL this season.  Lets fix it...and just like Meghan Trainor says:  Leonard's League: "every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top".   So we start at the bottom.

#12:  I actually called the authorities last week and did a wellness check on the Kiegl Titans.  And by "authorities" I mean Rozzie Square and by "wellness check" I mean make sure she still likes us.  She does!  All is well over there and the Kiegl Titans' new strategy "is to lose every game".  Her strategy is working great, she is 0-6 and she lost spectacularly to The Vinegar Strokes this week 124.42 to 66.80.  Good thing she has DeMarco Murray, with 109 rushing yards, 14 receiving yards and a TD, he single handedly pulled in 27% of her points.

#11:  Bobbum Man has struggled this season.  His team has consistently underscored projections. He has some great players, but nobody delivers on game day.  This week he lost 64.10 to 112.80 to Not in my Hauschka.  Carlos Hyde had 23 touches and turned them into 60 yards.  Melvin Gordon (who looks like a baby Predator in his NFL mugshot) got 29 yards, fumbled, and hurt his ankle.  This is what Bobbum Man has dealt with all season. 

#10:  Last season Clitboner was dead last, so 10 is an improvement.  He continues to start Joique Bell who hasn't been active for three weeks.  TJ Yeldon was in his starting lineup and he was out with an ankle injury.  Good news though, Marshawn Lynch is back in action!  But his 11.40 points stayed on Clitboner's bench.  He is up two spots this season, but there is plenty of room for improvement.

#9:  Canning Queen took down Clitboner last week 99.26 to 91.44.  This was good for her, she needed the win, as it is the only thing that put her above Clitboner in the rankings.  She is currently 2-4 but playoffs could still be in her sites.  Her players have been all over the map, she doesn't have a consistent high scorer - Martavis Bryant, Jarvis Landry, Jeremy Hill, or Eli Manning all have the potential to put up big numbers, now if only they would!

#8:  Bout that Action is holding down the first slot in the elite eight.  She suffered a difficult loss to the Eskimo Brothers 101.20 to 114.44.  Losing by 5 points sucks, especially when your Defense (Seattle) and your QB (Matt Ryan) easily had the potential to make up the difference.  She is dealing with the same problem Bobbum Man has, under performance by good players.  The potential is there just not the execution.  It's like....that really sad runner who passes out in just before the finish line of the marathon...you want them to make it but you kind of want to roll your eyes and drop them from your lineup because YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT 10 MORE FEET?!!

#7:  The Vinegar Strokes dominated the Kiegl Titans, earned the top score of the week (124.42) and moved up to 7th, it looks like he finally got a piece of the pie.  He's got a 3-3 record and if LeGarrette Blount has more games like he did last week, 1 receiving TD, 93 yards and a rushing TD - he could continue his upward momentum.  Movin' on up!  To the eastside, to a deluxe apartment in the sky!

#6:  Victorious Secret made a huge drop this week from 3rd to 6th.  That's a major bummer, but it shows how important each week is - and shows that the potential for folks to be Movin' on up!  It was a tough week for her RB and WR lineup, her best performer of the week was Justin Forsett with 10.10 points, everyone else was under 8.50.  The Secret is currently in a mid-season cleanse, she's made some changes to her starting lineup, benching Vincent Jackson and Todd Gurley for Rishard Matthews and Mike Wallace.  She needs to continue the process with her team so she can reach lineup Nirvana.

#5:  Firmly seated at 5th place, the Eskimo Brothers are flying under the radar, but he is still in solid playoff territory.  He just barely edged out his better half (Bout That Action) this week.  Let's not forget that the Eskimo Brothers are the reigning champion of Leonard's League.  His quiet life in 5th place is does not mean he should be ignored.  He's got a 4-2 record, the Denver Defense (more than 26 points in the last two weeks) and he listens obsessively to football radio.  I think one of the announcers must be his Eskimo Brother.

#4:  Rozzie Square won the league two years ago.  She dive bombed last season, and this year she seems to be rallying.  Does performance in  Leonard's League for Rozzie Square skip a season?  Like male-pattern baldness (see week four)?  Well, this looks like her season, as she is rocking 4th place even though she suffered a loss to Herban Fire this week.  It was just an off week for her guys - Frank Gore (9.40), Isaiah Crowell (4.10), Jeremy Maclin (4.80) and Larry Fitzgerald (9.30) are all more than capable of putting up higher numbers on the board, and they just might.

#3:  Not in my Hauschka is in third.  I'd like to be first, but I can accept the bronze a little less than halfway through the season.  It gives me something to reach for and helps me avoid complacency.  Not too shabby for someone who had to look up "TE, and the difference between "WR", RB" and "WR/RB" when she started the league.  Not in my Hauschka dominated Bobbum Man this week, but he kinda liked it.  Not in my Hauschka won the side bet for 2 footrubs, a regulator and a steel 80 (dive gear).  Bobbum's side of the bet was a new pair of all mountain tele skis...things escalated in the Schafer house - last year this bet was for the first round at the Elk!

#2:  Herban Fire is on a terrifying win streak - 5 in a row!  His high scorer for week 6, DeAndre Hopkins got almost 150 receiving yards.  Whoo!  150!  He won his week 6 match against Rozzie Square 121.68 to 83.86 - a beating so bad that the NFL recap claims he slapped her.  Herban Fire, please report to HR, we don't condone that kind of treatment of our teammates.  Oh?  It was just a crick in your wrist?  Carry on then.

#1:  The Legend is...a bit of a Legend.  He has a 5-1 record, the most points scored this season (634.16), and he is currently on a 3 game win streak.  However, as the owner of Greg Olsen (who scored the TD for the Panthers on Sunday) he is entirely responsible for the Seahawks loss.  He may be good at this Fantasy Football business, but he is a villain.  He is the guy you love to hate, like Loki, Cruella De Vil, or Hans Gruber.

The Seahawks have the Thursday Night Football Game against the evil 49ers at 5:25 tonight.  GO HAWKS!