Our first round of playoffs is over, and once again I find myself in the Championship round. It's been a crazy end to the season, last year's champion didn't make it to the playoffs, and somehow Rozzie Square made it into the fifth place match...that was unexpected! Here is how the first round of playoffs went down...
In the Championship Bracket:
The Legend fell to The Vinegar Strokes 80.96 to 115.14
Victorious Secret went down to Not in My Hauschka 94.58 to 112.58
In the Consolation Bracket:
Bout That Action put out Herban Fire 110.96 to 105.34
Rozzie Square edged out The Canning Queen by 0.20 points! 131.80 to 131.60
This week is the final round! The GOAT will be awarded and final side bets should be made. It is the most important thing that's ever occurred!!
Championship Match: Not in My Hauschka takes on The Vinegar Strokes
Third Place Match: The Legend goes up against Victorious Secret
Fifth Place Match: Bout that Action is looking to knock down Rozzie Square
Seventh Place Match: Herban Fire is hoping to take down the Canning Queen
Good luck to all and may the best fantasy team of able bodied millionaires win!
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Much Love to All!
NOW IN LATIN!
Monum diem natalis Jesu, Beatus novus annus, et Quantum Amor Ad Omnes!
Go Hawks!
Kiki
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Vieques #3 Bio-luminescent Bay
Before planning our trip to Vieques, we had heard of, but never really thought much about the idea of a bio-luminescent Bay. Jim had been there, and said it was amazing. He also said that explaining it doesn't really do it justice. He was right, I'm afraid this post will be shamefully incapable of conveying the sheer awesomeness that is dinoflagellates lighting up the sea. But it is worth a try :)
There are a few options for seeing the "Bio Bay", you can take a glass bottom boat out and observe, you can hire a company to take you out in a kayak, or you can go through Abe's Snorkeling and do the half day kayak tour. We went with the half day tour at Abe's. But first, we had to check out what it looks like during the day. Jim drove us all out in the jeep, the road definitely required the 4x4.
Video: bio bay with big ditches
In the day it is completely unremarkable. Just the glass bottom boat waiting for night time and passengers. I'll admit, I was skeptical.
I ended up taking pictures of the baby Land Crabs that lived in the parking lot puddles.
This little guy is about an inch long, but they can get about a foot across, and while they are a protected species, locals think they are a delicious species, so there is a lot of poaching of the big ones. More on that later.
We left with the promise of good things to come; looking forward to a day of kayaking and an evening of glowing dinoflagellates.
The day started at 2pm where we met our guide, Carlito, at Belly Button's, a restaurant in Esperanza. From there, we hopped in the bed of his pickup truck and he drove us to the Bio-Bay.
Being in the bed of the pickup truck was fun all on its own. Especially since there was no tailgate.
After the mangroves we headed out of the bay and onto an ocean beach only accessible by water. We did some snorkeling and had a delicious dinner (provided by Belly Button's).
There are a few options for seeing the "Bio Bay", you can take a glass bottom boat out and observe, you can hire a company to take you out in a kayak, or you can go through Abe's Snorkeling and do the half day kayak tour. We went with the half day tour at Abe's. But first, we had to check out what it looks like during the day. Jim drove us all out in the jeep, the road definitely required the 4x4.
In the day it is completely unremarkable. Just the glass bottom boat waiting for night time and passengers. I'll admit, I was skeptical.
I ended up taking pictures of the baby Land Crabs that lived in the parking lot puddles.
This little guy is about an inch long, but they can get about a foot across, and while they are a protected species, locals think they are a delicious species, so there is a lot of poaching of the big ones. More on that later.
We left with the promise of good things to come; looking forward to a day of kayaking and an evening of glowing dinoflagellates.
The day started at 2pm where we met our guide, Carlito, at Belly Button's, a restaurant in Esperanza. From there, we hopped in the bed of his pickup truck and he drove us to the Bio-Bay.
Being in the bed of the pickup truck was fun all on its own. Especially since there was no tailgate.
He set us all up with our gear and off we went across Mosquito Bay and into the mangroves. Being in the mangroves was something out of a movie. We put our paddles away and just coasted through the mangroves. We used our hands for leverage and had to watch out where we grabbed because there were little crabs all over the mangrove roots.
After the mangroves we headed out of the bay and onto an ocean beach only accessible by water. We did some snorkeling and had a delicious dinner (provided by Belly Button's).
After dinner it got dark. Of course that is the only way to see the Bio-Bay, but it makes it really difficult for pictures. In fact, after this one that Jim took of us, the rest of our pictures are black.
I wish there were a picture I could show that would explain the Bio-Bay, but even the best pictures I have seen don't do it justice.
As we made our way into the bay in the dark, we started to see something in the water. At first, you move your kayak next to another kayak and you dip your hand in the water. You think that you might see a glow but you are disappointed because it isn't as vivid as you expected. There are a couple other guides in the area and they are hooting animal noises at each other, one of them starts to pound on his kayak like an Indian drum. Then, you know you saw something green glowing in the water. Pretty soon you can swish your hand back and forth in the water and the water lights up with neon green. Now, every little disturbance in the water is a bright glow of green, as soon as the disturbance is gone it fades to black. Little fish swim in the water below and you can see them because they make a green streak through the water.
The neatest thing about the water was that you could pick up a handful of water and drop it on your leg and watch individual bright green dots drip down. Josh and I got the kayak going really fast and we left a neon green wake behind us. Josh and I both "fell" in the water and since we were already in the water we swam around a bit.
The sense of wonder, amazement, disbelief and sheer awesomeness was once in a lifetime. I was swimming in a pitch black bay on a night with no moon, but I could see my feet because the water around them glowed bright green. I could see Josh 10 feet away from me because his whole body was lit up by the water.
One of the locals described it as "avatar water". You remember the part where the main character is walking on the tree branches and the moss lights up under his feet? Yup, that is the Bio-Bay. Hopefully, I conveyed a little bit of our wonderful experience. We had a fantastic day and we are so happy we went with Abe's Snorkeling, the way they setup our tour made the day perfect.
P.S.
As we made our way into the bay in the dark, we started to see something in the water. At first, you move your kayak next to another kayak and you dip your hand in the water. You think that you might see a glow but you are disappointed because it isn't as vivid as you expected. There are a couple other guides in the area and they are hooting animal noises at each other, one of them starts to pound on his kayak like an Indian drum. Then, you know you saw something green glowing in the water. Pretty soon you can swish your hand back and forth in the water and the water lights up with neon green. Now, every little disturbance in the water is a bright glow of green, as soon as the disturbance is gone it fades to black. Little fish swim in the water below and you can see them because they make a green streak through the water.
The neatest thing about the water was that you could pick up a handful of water and drop it on your leg and watch individual bright green dots drip down. Josh and I got the kayak going really fast and we left a neon green wake behind us. Josh and I both "fell" in the water and since we were already in the water we swam around a bit.
The sense of wonder, amazement, disbelief and sheer awesomeness was once in a lifetime. I was swimming in a pitch black bay on a night with no moon, but I could see my feet because the water around them glowed bright green. I could see Josh 10 feet away from me because his whole body was lit up by the water.
One of the locals described it as "avatar water". You remember the part where the main character is walking on the tree branches and the moss lights up under his feet? Yup, that is the Bio-Bay. Hopefully, I conveyed a little bit of our wonderful experience. We had a fantastic day and we are so happy we went with Abe's Snorkeling, the way they setup our tour made the day perfect.
P.S.
Luckily for us, we shared the kayak tour with a couple from Utah, and he is a great videographer. The video is almost entirely his fantastic trip, but if you start the video at 7:40 you can see my hands lighting up the Bio Bay. Thank you Conor and Stephanie!
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Leonard's League 15/16 Week Twelve
Hi Leonard's League!
I didn't drop off the face
of the earth. I'm just pouting because The Legend overtook me on the
leader board. And because everybody's favorite kicker is suddenly
missing the extra point. WTF Hauschka?! I'm taking my ball and going
home! 
Not really... but I am going to take a break from the blog until
playoffs. If someone wants to write one, let me know and I'll post that Bishop!
We have this week and next week, then week 15 is playoffs -woot! The top 4 (currently: The Legend, Not in My Hauschka, Herban Fire, Victorious Secret) make it into the championship bracket.
The Eskimo Brothers and the Kiegl Titans are on the bubble.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Leonard's League 15/16 Week Ten
This week I am going to sum up each match with a gif from our favorite 90s movies.
This gem is direct off the NFL Game Center Recap. "Not in my Hauschka Throat-Punches Eskimo Brothers, Notches 7th in a Row". With a final score of 71.52 to 141.34 I couldn't agree more.
The Kiegl Titans led Rozzie Square all week. On Monday night Larry Fitzgerald and Andre Ellington formed a Flying V and Rozzie Square flew ahead of the Titans.
The Vinegar Strokes had a great performance from Antonio Brown with 139 receiving yards and 2 TDs, but it was The Legend led by Adrian Peterson with an impressive 203 rushing yards who claimed the victory.
It was a high scoring match and Bout That Action would have won almost any other match up. But she got taken out by the Canning Queen - this week's dominant predator.
Bobbum Man started the best his team had to offer, leaving 0 points on the bench. Herban Fire can't say the same, he left 23.70 on his bench. Lucky for the Fire, Bobbum Man is riding his sinking ship of a team all the way down.
Speaking of points on the bench check this one out. Victorious Secret beat Clitboner by 0.96 points. Victorious left 3 points on her bench, which would have helped - but Clitboner left 10.60 on his bench. That could have gotten him his first win since Week 3.
Hope everyone weathered the first fall storm okay! Our place managed to be in a 2 block pocket of power and we lucked out. We had snow here Sunday morning and I hear Crystal might be opening soon! I love Fall. Whoo!
This gem is direct off the NFL Game Center Recap. "Not in my Hauschka Throat-Punches Eskimo Brothers, Notches 7th in a Row". With a final score of 71.52 to 141.34 I couldn't agree more.
The Kiegl Titans led Rozzie Square all week. On Monday night Larry Fitzgerald and Andre Ellington formed a Flying V and Rozzie Square flew ahead of the Titans.
The Vinegar Strokes had a great performance from Antonio Brown with 139 receiving yards and 2 TDs, but it was The Legend led by Adrian Peterson with an impressive 203 rushing yards who claimed the victory.
It was a high scoring match and Bout That Action would have won almost any other match up. But she got taken out by the Canning Queen - this week's dominant predator.
Bobbum Man started the best his team had to offer, leaving 0 points on the bench. Herban Fire can't say the same, he left 23.70 on his bench. Lucky for the Fire, Bobbum Man is riding his sinking ship of a team all the way down.
Speaking of points on the bench check this one out. Victorious Secret beat Clitboner by 0.96 points. Victorious left 3 points on her bench, which would have helped - but Clitboner left 10.60 on his bench. That could have gotten him his first win since Week 3.
Hope everyone weathered the first fall storm okay! Our place managed to be in a 2 block pocket of power and we lucked out. We had snow here Sunday morning and I hear Crystal might be opening soon! I love Fall. Whoo!
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Leonard's League 15/16 Week Nine
It takes nine players to make a team, but sometimes a whole team's performance can be explained by 1 player. Let's check out week nine's standouts with Case In Point
Herban Fire (Derek Carr) v. Victorious Secret (Tom Brady): Herban Fire lights up the leader board, jumping up into third place.
Herban Fire is quietly dominating the League right now. Just like Derek Carr. Oh you don't know who Derek Carr is - ME NEITHER! Turns out, he is the QB for the Oakland Raiders, and he gets either a few points in a game or 22+, this man does not know what hey diddle diddle right down the middle means. Not sure I do either...anyway...he is all or nothing, and this week was an all week. BUT. He's from Oakland so obviously we don't pay any attention to him until we realize he is awesome.
Victorious Secret has had a difficult season, she's made some mistakes this season, but that just means she has a chip on her shoulder and something to prove. Case in point: Tom Brady. The Patriots went up against the Redskins on Sunday and Brady threw an interception. In stead of crying in the locker room and plotting elaborate cheating schemes (that's a strictly post game ritual), he got in position and tackled Keenan Robinson himself! Yeah, so I messed up, but at least I took you out in the process.
Bobbum Man (McCluster) v. Vinegar Strokes (Antonio Brown): Not sure if quality or quantity won this match up but the Strokes take the win with big numbers from 3 players.
Dexter McCluster has been one of Bobbum Man's most consistent players. He can be counted on to get over 13 points...since November 1st. But he just hurt his ankle and if nothing else, his name illustrates what Bobbum Man has dealt with all season. His season has been an absolute Cluster of Ducks. This week is a perfect example - finally breaking the 75 point barrier for the first time since week 3 (yay!), but a couple injuries, and one player riding the pine. An absolute ClusterDuck.
You can't have a post about standout players and not mention Antonio Brown this week. He put up a career high, Pittsburg Steeler franchise record for 284 receiving yards and 22 rushing yards. Sure he fumbled, but he still put up big numbers and won the game. The Vinegar Strokes did the same 3 players with 71% of his score, he stumbled with some of his lineup but he put up big numbers where it counted and won the game.
Not in my Hauschka (Lamar Miller) v. Rozzie Square (Gronk): Rozzie Square? Not in my Hauschka!!
Rozzie Square is all over the board. Sometime she kicks ass, sometimes she forgets to set her lineup. Rob Gronkowski knows something about being all over the map. He has ranged from 27.40 points (week 1) to 4.70 points (week 9). It be easier if this were a steady decline, but its not. Gronk is literally all over the map, just like Rozzie Square - seriously, someone point that out to me on a map.
Not in my Hauschka is excelling. She picked up in week 7 and things have turned around. Lamar Miller rushed for 44 yards, received another 97 and scored 2 touchdowns. That's worth 26.10 points in case you were wondering.
Kiegl Titans (Brees) v. Canning Queen (Lesser Manning): The Titans blow past the Queen on a brisk Fall Brees.
The Kiegl Titans' QB, Drew Brees has not been a guy you depend on this season, and the Titans' - up until recently that is - have been a guaranteed win for her opponent. But just like the Titans, Brees seems to have turned it around. Brees threw for 3 TDs and 387 yards, its looking like Brees, and the Titans may be back in action.
I've been all about the Manning brothers for some time, clearly the Greater Manning (Peyton) is my favorite, but lesser Manning (Eli) has really been impressing me lately. Unfortunately, its tough to get out from under someone's shadow. Canning Queen has been a lot like lesser Manning, she's good...just not enough to outshine her opponent. Eli threw for 213 yards and 2 TDs, which was enough for a NY win, but only brought the Queen 12.42 points.
Clitboner (Bye Week) v. Bout That Action (Brandon Cooks): Clear winner here: Bout That Action
For Bout that Action it has been all about finding her stride. Brandon Cooks started out the 15/16 season on a decidedly slow note, but in the last couple weeks he has found his way to consistency. This week he caught 4 of his 6 targets for 71 yards and a touchdown. It's not just about being good enough, its about getting your poop in a group and figuring out how to play the game every week.
Clitboner's case in point was a tough call. Should it be Marshawn Lynch? He was on a bye week. Or maybe Russell Wilson? He was on a bye week. No, it should definitely be Eric Ebron - he was on a bye week too. Case In Point: Bye week players bring you zero points.
Eskimo Brothers (Poke in the Eye) v. The Legend (Adrian Peterson): The Legend sings his redemption song.
The Legend was looking to redeem his status this week, Adrian Peterson has been about redemption all season. And they've both made good progress this week. Peterson had his season high carry for 125 yards, the Minnesota QB, Teddy Bridgewater, went down mid game with a concussion, bringing in a fresh QB and setting Peterson up to handle most of Minnesota's offense. 20.30 points for the game, great way to say "Yeah, I think I'm back!"
The Eskimo Brothers are trying to figure out what happened this week. And to be fair so is pretty much his entire team. 2 RBs, 3 WR and a TE brought 24.5 points back to the igloo. Ouch. Sure his defense brought in 22.20 points, but when the Broncos CB Aqib Talib decided to poke Dwayne Allen in the eyeball - ruining any opportunity for Denver to come back - you have to wonder, what just happened?
Herban Fire (Derek Carr) v. Victorious Secret (Tom Brady): Herban Fire lights up the leader board, jumping up into third place.
Herban Fire is quietly dominating the League right now. Just like Derek Carr. Oh you don't know who Derek Carr is - ME NEITHER! Turns out, he is the QB for the Oakland Raiders, and he gets either a few points in a game or 22+, this man does not know what hey diddle diddle right down the middle means. Not sure I do either...anyway...he is all or nothing, and this week was an all week. BUT. He's from Oakland so obviously we don't pay any attention to him until we realize he is awesome.
Victorious Secret has had a difficult season, she's made some mistakes this season, but that just means she has a chip on her shoulder and something to prove. Case in point: Tom Brady. The Patriots went up against the Redskins on Sunday and Brady threw an interception. In stead of crying in the locker room and plotting elaborate cheating schemes (that's a strictly post game ritual), he got in position and tackled Keenan Robinson himself! Yeah, so I messed up, but at least I took you out in the process.
Bobbum Man (McCluster) v. Vinegar Strokes (Antonio Brown): Not sure if quality or quantity won this match up but the Strokes take the win with big numbers from 3 players.
Dexter McCluster has been one of Bobbum Man's most consistent players. He can be counted on to get over 13 points...since November 1st. But he just hurt his ankle and if nothing else, his name illustrates what Bobbum Man has dealt with all season. His season has been an absolute Cluster of Ducks. This week is a perfect example - finally breaking the 75 point barrier for the first time since week 3 (yay!), but a couple injuries, and one player riding the pine. An absolute ClusterDuck.
You can't have a post about standout players and not mention Antonio Brown this week. He put up a career high, Pittsburg Steeler franchise record for 284 receiving yards and 22 rushing yards. Sure he fumbled, but he still put up big numbers and won the game. The Vinegar Strokes did the same 3 players with 71% of his score, he stumbled with some of his lineup but he put up big numbers where it counted and won the game.
Not in my Hauschka (Lamar Miller) v. Rozzie Square (Gronk): Rozzie Square? Not in my Hauschka!!
Rozzie Square is all over the board. Sometime she kicks ass, sometimes she forgets to set her lineup. Rob Gronkowski knows something about being all over the map. He has ranged from 27.40 points (week 1) to 4.70 points (week 9). It be easier if this were a steady decline, but its not. Gronk is literally all over the map, just like Rozzie Square - seriously, someone point that out to me on a map.
Not in my Hauschka is excelling. She picked up in week 7 and things have turned around. Lamar Miller rushed for 44 yards, received another 97 and scored 2 touchdowns. That's worth 26.10 points in case you were wondering.
Kiegl Titans (Brees) v. Canning Queen (Lesser Manning): The Titans blow past the Queen on a brisk Fall Brees.
The Kiegl Titans' QB, Drew Brees has not been a guy you depend on this season, and the Titans' - up until recently that is - have been a guaranteed win for her opponent. But just like the Titans, Brees seems to have turned it around. Brees threw for 3 TDs and 387 yards, its looking like Brees, and the Titans may be back in action.
I've been all about the Manning brothers for some time, clearly the Greater Manning (Peyton) is my favorite, but lesser Manning (Eli) has really been impressing me lately. Unfortunately, its tough to get out from under someone's shadow. Canning Queen has been a lot like lesser Manning, she's good...just not enough to outshine her opponent. Eli threw for 213 yards and 2 TDs, which was enough for a NY win, but only brought the Queen 12.42 points.
Clitboner (Bye Week) v. Bout That Action (Brandon Cooks): Clear winner here: Bout That Action
For Bout that Action it has been all about finding her stride. Brandon Cooks started out the 15/16 season on a decidedly slow note, but in the last couple weeks he has found his way to consistency. This week he caught 4 of his 6 targets for 71 yards and a touchdown. It's not just about being good enough, its about getting your poop in a group and figuring out how to play the game every week.
Clitboner's case in point was a tough call. Should it be Marshawn Lynch? He was on a bye week. Or maybe Russell Wilson? He was on a bye week. No, it should definitely be Eric Ebron - he was on a bye week too. Case In Point: Bye week players bring you zero points.
Eskimo Brothers (Poke in the Eye) v. The Legend (Adrian Peterson): The Legend sings his redemption song.
The Legend was looking to redeem his status this week, Adrian Peterson has been about redemption all season. And they've both made good progress this week. Peterson had his season high carry for 125 yards, the Minnesota QB, Teddy Bridgewater, went down mid game with a concussion, bringing in a fresh QB and setting Peterson up to handle most of Minnesota's offense. 20.30 points for the game, great way to say "Yeah, I think I'm back!"
The Eskimo Brothers are trying to figure out what happened this week. And to be fair so is pretty much his entire team. 2 RBs, 3 WR and a TE brought 24.5 points back to the igloo. Ouch. Sure his defense brought in 22.20 points, but when the Broncos CB Aqib Talib decided to poke Dwayne Allen in the eyeball - ruining any opportunity for Denver to come back - you have to wonder, what just happened?
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Leonard's League 15/16 Week Eight
Ladies and Gentlemen...we have another guest post! Bout that Action with moral support from the Eskimo Bothers, stepped up this week and wrote our update. And it is marvelous. Thank you Jo!!!
It’s MUCH. MORE. FUN. to write a recap when you’ve won for the week. Especially when you’ve given up on your team and decided you hate them all… but that’s another story. Speaking of hate- this week we are going to Shake it Off with a T-Swiftribute
Lucky for the League, I HEART Tay Tay!! As we take a tour of week 8’s ups and downs, we will also take a tour of T-Swizzle’s beats (PS did you know she has over 100? Truth. Look it up.)
S0 feel free to speed read through because the accuracy of this post cannot be confirmed nor denied. Let’s just say this Swiftie doesn’t know the difference between a running back and wide receiver, and is realizing just how complicated this damn post thing is.
Here goes:
Today Was a Fairytale - Bout that Action Finally Beats Herban Fire- first time ev-er.
It had the makings of a nightmare at first with a score too close for comfort from Thursday on. At 4pm on Sunday Bout that Action finally was Bout that fairytale. Brandin Cooks was the knight in shining armor scoring two touchdowns, which along with Chandler Catanzaro’s 10 kicking points and Latavius’ Murray’s ok showing helped rally enough points to put out the Herban Fire. If only she had faith in Shane Vereen, who scored 20 bench points. Herban Fire had no sparks flying in this matchup with Andrew Luck’s struggle with his league high 12 interceptions this season. Luck’s wet performance in OT, with Tyler Lockett's soggy no-show (36 total yards) and Jimmy Graham’s uninvolved raindance with Wilson all resulted in a wet, sopping, drizzling loss for the Fire. Unfortunately this matchup doesn’t do much for either HF or BTA since both are in the bottom bracket.
Maybe these two should stick to dance offs…
Not in my Hauschka kicks her way to the TOP, swiftly kicking the Legend’s A$%.
Not in my Hauschka was out for blood! She swapped first place in the league with The Legend (6-2, 852.80 points), beating them 138.66 to 98.34. Haush also managed to score the second-highest point total of the ENTIRE season so far. Damn. Sadly, a primetime rally during Monday Night Football (32.30 MNF points, 33% of their final score) wasn't enough for The Legend. Not in my Hauschka took a 21.30-point lead on Thursday and maintained an advantage throughout the matchup. This win was revenge for a loss to The Legend in their last meeting last year. The Legend had one glaring player that missed out on some opportunities. Despite being targeted seven times, T.Y. Hilton could only reel in one catch. Haushka’s Odell Beckham was on FIRE this week with 31.00 points. Not too bad for the Chiefs defense either… Sadly Haushka himself only had one chance to shine, but shine he did, that one time. Watch out for this lady’s quick-footed moves- we might see the Goat sporting a new name this season. HAUSH!
Canning Queen leaves Rozzie Square wounded.
Rozzie fought to the end (what is a Rozzie?) but even with 41 points on Monday Night she wasn’t able to un-can the Queen (I don’t even know what that means).
Close game ladies, and high scoring too! Good fight to the end. Eli Manning (350 Pas Yds, 6 TD) had a great game, but so did the Vikings. Every battle has a weakest link- and there was a player on both teams that had plenty of chances but didn't capitalize on opportunities. On the winning side, Jonathan Stewart got 25 touches but only tallied 83 total yards, while Isaiah Crowell was even less effective, managing just 26 yards on 11 touches for Rozzie Square. Canning Queen came out on top in this brutal girl fight! Well done ladies.
Eskimo Brothers still in it- Spanks Bobbum Man to Move into 4th Place
Who’s hot and knows his fantasy football? THIS GUY! Don’t hate because he won last year, Hate because he’s better at this than you, Hate because he LOVES the John Clayton show. But don’t Hate that he wins. I am sure Bobbum Man hated getting pummeled from the get go, but players gonna play play play. Eskimo Brothers had a lead from the start, and took a 51.26-point lead on Sunday afternoon and held the lead throughout the matchup. Eskimo picked up 28.56 points from Carson Palmer (374 Pas Yds, 4 TD/1 Int) and 20.20 from Julio Jones (162 Rec Yds, 1 TD), although Bobbum’s Colts lost, they did have a solid score of 23.40, but that wasn’t much help. Another score that wasn’t much help for Bobbum- Jacoby Jones. He was the only starter throughout the whole league with Negative points. I would focus my hate on Jacoby. Not E.B.
Keigl Titans lets Clitboner finish, but…
Another matchup under 100 points… or as we say, missionary. The Keigl Titans relied O O Oh so heavily on Drew Brees. I mean 44.30 points. Great performance Drew, Seven TDs in one game = gettin’ some! Speaking of play, a few players didn’t get much play… On the winning side, David Johnson and Danny Woodhead got only eight total touches but tallied an outstanding 93 all-purpose yards between them. For Clitboner, Joique Bell managed 56 yards on just seven touches. Also limited action- Good ole Russell. Maybe he needs to get some after all? Keigl Titans, always a lady, let Clitboner finish, but.
Victorious Secret Beats The Vinegar Strokes, Rises to 3rd Place
I sense some Bad Blood in the Hart Household. Victorious Secret put the smack down on Vinegar Strokes 114.44 to 88.64 and put up the highest point total of their season. Hey Secret, did you have a friendly wager on the side? New pair of skis perhaps??? This win was sweet revenge for Victorious Secret following a brutal postseason defeat last year to The Vinegar Strokes. Victorious was victorious from the get-go on Thursday and remained in front for the rest of the matchup. The Strokes stroked hard with most of their players winning on the real field, just not really in the fantasy arena. Have I mentioned I hate Tom Brady? He and I have some bad blood over 2015 but he’s been the secret’s not-so-secret weapon the past 3 weeks as her team’s high scorer. Strokes will be stroking his wounds and ego until the next showdown…
This blog thing is much harder than it looks.
This is me at work:
Cheers to week 9! Who’s blogging next???
-Jo
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Leonard's League 15/16 Week Seven
It's time for the Leonard's League Halloween Party!
Not in My Hauschka continued to work her magic, she dressed up as Gandalf for the party and is on a four game win streak. She went up against the Canning Queen and started the week by hollering "You Shall Not Pass" to Lamar Miller who ran for 175 yards and brought in 35.60 points. Devonta Freeman is turning out to be a solid pick up choice for Not in My Hauschka, he only brought in 13 points on 130 yards, but that is still more than either of the Canning Queen's RBs. The Queen's best player was Jarvis Landry who received 2 TDs and put 21.80 points on the board. But while Landry had a good game, the rest of the Queen's team looked about as excited as the Canning Queen looked in her Queen costume.
Now that he is officially the pseudo-villain of the League, the Legend is feeling so tough that he wore his Dark Knight costume. The Legend's high scorer, T.Y. Hilton only had 4 catches, but for 150 yards, two TDs and 27 points. He is firmly on top of the leader board with a 6-1 record and he beat Bobbum Man this week by nearly double. The Legend isn't the leader this League deserves, but apparently he is the one we need right now. So we will hunt him. Because he is currently kicking all of our bobbums. Speaking of bobbums, Bobbum Man had another rough week, McCown lost the ball twice and the rest of his team is not living up to expectations either. Bobbum Man is ever the optimist, he knows he is a bad ass and its time for him to save the day. Hoping for some inspiration he grabbed a paperclip and dressed up as MacGyver.
Victorious Secret left the Eskimo Brothers out in the cold this week. According to the NFL summary, her star RB Todd Gurley "stayed red hot Sunday", he rushed for 2 TDs and put 28.30 points on the board. She has moved up to 5th place and she is feeling like hot stuff right now - I think it's going to her head because she showed up as Sriracha sauce to the party. The Eskimo Brothers have dropped down the list to 7th place. He has some standout players - Arian Foster (24.50) and Julio Jones (15.20), but they aren't enough when a third of his team scores less than 5 points. Its a good thing the Eskimo Brothers have the G.O.A.T. at home to keep him confident, he still has all his swagger and to prove that being cold can be hot he dressed up as Ice Cube.
Well this is all wrong. The Keigl Titans got their first win of the season! How did that happen? Apparently she changed the team strategy. She picked up Zach Ertz, and Rashad Ross, neither of which really helped her out. Her top players were the Giants Defense (3 interceptions!) and Danny Woodhead's career best 11 receptions on 12 targets and 2 TDs. Her total wasn't all that impressive, 104.30, but her new strategy is distraction. She showed up dressed as a Sexy Nurse hoping to distract Herban Fire. It worked. Andrew Luck threw for 333 yards and 3 TDs and Allen Robinson (15.80 points), had good games, but everyone else was very excited about the Nurse Keigl's prescription. Herban Fire showed up dressed as Doritos and the rest of his team may as well have just sat on the couch and ate Doritos for all the good they did for his team.
Bout that Action tries, and she is enthusiastic every week. Unfortunately it's not unusual for her to lose, especially if Matt Ryan throws 2 interceptions. She doesn't quite have the execution down, but we love her for busting out the moves and doing the dance every week, she showed up as Carlton for our annual Halloween Party. The Vinegar Strokes had an interesting week. He had one player, LeGarrette Blount, get -0.30 points (huge change from last week's 22.40), and his TE Julius Thomas only brought in 0.40. When you look back on that, his performance sucked, kinda like Will Smith's rapping. But, his QB, Ryan Tannehill had a great game completing 18 of 19 passes for four TDs and the Dolphin's QB led the Vinegar Strokes to Victory. The Vinegar Strokes celebrated his win by showing up as Will Smith. Welcome to Miami bitches!
Rozzie Square has moved up to third place, but her team only scored 81.98 points this week. It really doesn't seem fair, it's like she's cheating. She's been spending too much time in New England, she is picking up bad habits and she even showed up to the Halloween party as Tom Brady. Ugg. Even with her deflated score she still managed to beat Clitboner by more than double. Clitboner scored a spectacularly low 39.10 points. He started four players on their bye week. I'd say that's a pretty big error. Just like his costume.
Happy Halloween!!
Not in My Hauschka continued to work her magic, she dressed up as Gandalf for the party and is on a four game win streak. She went up against the Canning Queen and started the week by hollering "You Shall Not Pass" to Lamar Miller who ran for 175 yards and brought in 35.60 points. Devonta Freeman is turning out to be a solid pick up choice for Not in My Hauschka, he only brought in 13 points on 130 yards, but that is still more than either of the Canning Queen's RBs. The Queen's best player was Jarvis Landry who received 2 TDs and put 21.80 points on the board. But while Landry had a good game, the rest of the Queen's team looked about as excited as the Canning Queen looked in her Queen costume.
Now that he is officially the pseudo-villain of the League, the Legend is feeling so tough that he wore his Dark Knight costume. The Legend's high scorer, T.Y. Hilton only had 4 catches, but for 150 yards, two TDs and 27 points. He is firmly on top of the leader board with a 6-1 record and he beat Bobbum Man this week by nearly double. The Legend isn't the leader this League deserves, but apparently he is the one we need right now. So we will hunt him. Because he is currently kicking all of our bobbums. Speaking of bobbums, Bobbum Man had another rough week, McCown lost the ball twice and the rest of his team is not living up to expectations either. Bobbum Man is ever the optimist, he knows he is a bad ass and its time for him to save the day. Hoping for some inspiration he grabbed a paperclip and dressed up as MacGyver.
Victorious Secret left the Eskimo Brothers out in the cold this week. According to the NFL summary, her star RB Todd Gurley "stayed red hot Sunday", he rushed for 2 TDs and put 28.30 points on the board. She has moved up to 5th place and she is feeling like hot stuff right now - I think it's going to her head because she showed up as Sriracha sauce to the party. The Eskimo Brothers have dropped down the list to 7th place. He has some standout players - Arian Foster (24.50) and Julio Jones (15.20), but they aren't enough when a third of his team scores less than 5 points. Its a good thing the Eskimo Brothers have the G.O.A.T. at home to keep him confident, he still has all his swagger and to prove that being cold can be hot he dressed up as Ice Cube.
Well this is all wrong. The Keigl Titans got their first win of the season! How did that happen? Apparently she changed the team strategy. She picked up Zach Ertz, and Rashad Ross, neither of which really helped her out. Her top players were the Giants Defense (3 interceptions!) and Danny Woodhead's career best 11 receptions on 12 targets and 2 TDs. Her total wasn't all that impressive, 104.30, but her new strategy is distraction. She showed up dressed as a Sexy Nurse hoping to distract Herban Fire. It worked. Andrew Luck threw for 333 yards and 3 TDs and Allen Robinson (15.80 points), had good games, but everyone else was very excited about the Nurse Keigl's prescription. Herban Fire showed up dressed as Doritos and the rest of his team may as well have just sat on the couch and ate Doritos for all the good they did for his team.
Bout that Action tries, and she is enthusiastic every week. Unfortunately it's not unusual for her to lose, especially if Matt Ryan throws 2 interceptions. She doesn't quite have the execution down, but we love her for busting out the moves and doing the dance every week, she showed up as Carlton for our annual Halloween Party. The Vinegar Strokes had an interesting week. He had one player, LeGarrette Blount, get -0.30 points (huge change from last week's 22.40), and his TE Julius Thomas only brought in 0.40. When you look back on that, his performance sucked, kinda like Will Smith's rapping. But, his QB, Ryan Tannehill had a great game completing 18 of 19 passes for four TDs and the Dolphin's QB led the Vinegar Strokes to Victory. The Vinegar Strokes celebrated his win by showing up as Will Smith. Welcome to Miami bitches!
Rozzie Square has moved up to third place, but her team only scored 81.98 points this week. It really doesn't seem fair, it's like she's cheating. She's been spending too much time in New England, she is picking up bad habits and she even showed up to the Halloween party as Tom Brady. Ugg. Even with her deflated score she still managed to beat Clitboner by more than double. Clitboner scored a spectacularly low 39.10 points. He started four players on their bye week. I'd say that's a pretty big error. Just like his costume.
Happy Halloween!!
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Leonard's League 15/16 Week Six
You know what I realized this morning? I haven't talked about rankings AT ALL this season. Lets fix it...and just like Meghan Trainor says: Leonard's League: "every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top". So we start at the bottom.
#4: Rozzie Square won the league two years ago. She dive bombed last season, and this year she seems to be rallying. Does performance in Leonard's League for Rozzie Square skip a season? Like male-pattern baldness (see week four)? Well, this looks like her season, as she is rocking 4th place even though she suffered a loss to Herban Fire this week. It was just an off week for her guys - Frank Gore (9.40), Isaiah Crowell (4.10), Jeremy Maclin (4.80) and Larry Fitzgerald (9.30) are all more than capable of putting up higher numbers on the board, and they just might.
#12: I actually called the authorities last week and did a wellness check on the Kiegl Titans. And by "authorities" I mean Rozzie Square and by "wellness check" I mean make sure she still likes us. She does! All is well over there and the Kiegl Titans' new strategy "is to lose every game". Her strategy is working great, she is 0-6 and she lost spectacularly to The Vinegar Strokes this week 124.42 to 66.80. Good thing she has DeMarco Murray, with 109 rushing yards, 14 receiving yards and a TD, he single handedly pulled in 27% of her points.
#11: Bobbum Man has struggled this season. His team has consistently underscored projections. He has some great players, but nobody delivers on game day. This week he lost 64.10 to 112.80 to Not in my Hauschka. Carlos Hyde had 23 touches and turned them into 60 yards. Melvin Gordon (who looks like a baby Predator in his NFL mugshot) got 29 yards, fumbled, and hurt his ankle. This is what Bobbum Man has dealt with all season.
#10: Last season Clitboner was dead last, so 10 is an improvement. He continues to start Joique Bell who hasn't been active for three weeks. TJ Yeldon was in his starting lineup and he was out with an ankle injury. Good news though, Marshawn Lynch is back in action! But his 11.40 points stayed on Clitboner's bench. He is up two spots this season, but there is plenty of room for improvement.
#10: Last season Clitboner was dead last, so 10 is an improvement. He continues to start Joique Bell who hasn't been active for three weeks. TJ Yeldon was in his starting lineup and he was out with an ankle injury. Good news though, Marshawn Lynch is back in action! But his 11.40 points stayed on Clitboner's bench. He is up two spots this season, but there is plenty of room for improvement.
#9: Canning Queen took down Clitboner last week 99.26 to 91.44. This was good for her, she needed the win, as it is the only thing that put her above Clitboner in the rankings. She is currently 2-4 but playoffs could still be in her sites. Her players have been all over the map, she doesn't have a consistent high scorer - Martavis Bryant, Jarvis Landry, Jeremy Hill, or Eli Manning all have the potential to put up big numbers, now if only they would!
#8: Bout that Action is holding down the first slot in the elite eight. She suffered a difficult loss to the Eskimo Brothers 101.20 to 114.44. Losing by 5 points sucks, especially when your Defense (Seattle) and your QB (Matt Ryan) easily had the potential to make up the difference. She is dealing with the same problem Bobbum Man has, under performance by good players. The potential is there just not the execution. It's like....that really sad runner who passes out in just before the finish line of the marathon...you want them to make it but you kind of want to roll your eyes and drop them from your lineup because YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT 10 MORE FEET?!!
#7: The Vinegar Strokes dominated the Kiegl Titans, earned the top score of the week (124.42) and moved up to 7th, it looks like he finally got a piece of the pie. He's got a 3-3 record and if LeGarrette Blount has more games like he did last week, 1 receiving TD, 93 yards and a rushing TD - he could continue his upward momentum. Movin' on up! To the eastside, to a deluxe apartment in the sky!
#6: Victorious Secret made a huge drop this week from 3rd to 6th. That's a major bummer, but it shows how important each week is - and shows that the potential for folks to be Movin' on up! It was a tough week for her RB and WR lineup, her best performer of the week was Justin Forsett with 10.10 points, everyone else was under 8.50. The Secret is currently in a mid-season cleanse, she's made some changes to her starting lineup, benching Vincent Jackson and Todd Gurley for Rishard Matthews and Mike Wallace. She needs to continue the process with her team so she can reach lineup Nirvana.
#5: Firmly seated at 5th place, the Eskimo Brothers are flying under the radar, but he is still in solid playoff territory. He just barely edged out his better half (Bout That Action) this week. Let's not forget that the Eskimo Brothers are the reigning champion of Leonard's League. His quiet life in 5th place is does not mean he should be ignored. He's got a 4-2 record, the Denver Defense (more than 26 points in the last two weeks) and he listens obsessively to football radio. I think one of the announcers must be his Eskimo Brother.
#4: Rozzie Square won the league two years ago. She dive bombed last season, and this year she seems to be rallying. Does performance in Leonard's League for Rozzie Square skip a season? Like male-pattern baldness (see week four)? Well, this looks like her season, as she is rocking 4th place even though she suffered a loss to Herban Fire this week. It was just an off week for her guys - Frank Gore (9.40), Isaiah Crowell (4.10), Jeremy Maclin (4.80) and Larry Fitzgerald (9.30) are all more than capable of putting up higher numbers on the board, and they just might.
#3: Not in my Hauschka is in third. I'd like to be first, but I can accept the bronze a little less than halfway through the season. It gives me something to reach for and helps me avoid complacency. Not too shabby for someone who had to look up "TE, and the difference between "WR", RB" and "WR/RB" when she started the league. Not in my Hauschka dominated Bobbum Man this week, but he kinda liked it. Not in my Hauschka won the side bet for 2 footrubs, a regulator and a steel 80 (dive gear). Bobbum's side of the bet was a new pair of all mountain tele skis...things escalated in the Schafer house - last year this bet was for the first round at the Elk!
#2: Herban Fire is on a terrifying win streak - 5 in a row! His high scorer for week 6, DeAndre Hopkins got almost 150 receiving yards. Whoo! 150! He won his week 6 match against Rozzie Square 121.68 to 83.86 - a beating so bad that the NFL recap claims he slapped her. Herban Fire, please report to HR, we don't condone that kind of treatment of our teammates. Oh? It was just a crick in your wrist? Carry on then.
#1: The Legend is...a bit of a Legend. He has a 5-1 record, the most points scored this season (634.16), and he is currently on a 3 game win streak. However, as the owner of Greg Olsen (who scored the TD for the Panthers on Sunday) he is entirely responsible for the Seahawks loss. He may be good at this Fantasy Football business, but he is a villain. He is the guy you love to hate, like Loki, Cruella De Vil, or Hans Gruber.
The Seahawks have the Thursday Night Football Game against the evil 49ers at 5:25 tonight. GO HAWKS!
The Seahawks have the Thursday Night Football Game against the evil 49ers at 5:25 tonight. GO HAWKS!
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