Ladies and Gentlemen...we have another guest post! Bout that Action with moral support from the Eskimo Bothers, stepped up this week and wrote our update. And it is marvelous. Thank you Jo!!!
It’s MUCH. MORE. FUN. to write a recap when you’ve won for the week. Especially when you’ve given up on your team and decided you hate them all… but that’s another story. Speaking of hate- this week we are going to Shake it Off with a T-Swiftribute
Lucky for the League, I HEART Tay Tay!! As we take a tour of week 8’s ups and downs, we will also take a tour of T-Swizzle’s beats (PS did you know she has over 100? Truth. Look it up.)
S0 feel free to speed read through because the accuracy of this post cannot be confirmed nor denied. Let’s just say this Swiftie doesn’t know the difference between a running back and wide receiver, and is realizing just how complicated this damn post thing is.
Here goes:
Today Was a Fairytale - Bout that Action Finally Beats Herban Fire- first time ev-er.
It had the makings of a nightmare at first with a score too close for comfort from Thursday on. At 4pm on Sunday Bout that Action finally was Bout that fairytale. Brandin Cooks was the knight in shining armor scoring two touchdowns, which along with Chandler Catanzaro’s 10 kicking points and Latavius’ Murray’s ok showing helped rally enough points to put out the Herban Fire. If only she had faith in Shane Vereen, who scored 20 bench points. Herban Fire had no sparks flying in this matchup with Andrew Luck’s struggle with his league high 12 interceptions this season. Luck’s wet performance in OT, with Tyler Lockett's soggy no-show (36 total yards) and Jimmy Graham’s uninvolved raindance with Wilson all resulted in a wet, sopping, drizzling loss for the Fire. Unfortunately this matchup doesn’t do much for either HF or BTA since both are in the bottom bracket.
Maybe these two should stick to dance offs…
Not in my Hauschka kicks her way to the TOP, swiftly kicking the Legend’s A$%.
Not in my Hauschka was out for blood! She swapped first place in the league with The Legend (6-2, 852.80 points), beating them 138.66 to 98.34. Haush also managed to score the second-highest point total of the ENTIRE season so far. Damn. Sadly, a primetime rally during Monday Night Football (32.30 MNF points, 33% of their final score) wasn't enough for The Legend. Not in my Hauschka took a 21.30-point lead on Thursday and maintained an advantage throughout the matchup. This win was revenge for a loss to The Legend in their last meeting last year. The Legend had one glaring player that missed out on some opportunities. Despite being targeted seven times, T.Y. Hilton could only reel in one catch. Haushka’s Odell Beckham was on FIRE this week with 31.00 points. Not too bad for the Chiefs defense either… Sadly Haushka himself only had one chance to shine, but shine he did, that one time. Watch out for this lady’s quick-footed moves- we might see the Goat sporting a new name this season. HAUSH!
Canning Queen leaves Rozzie Square wounded.
Rozzie fought to the end (what is a Rozzie?) but even with 41 points on Monday Night she wasn’t able to un-can the Queen (I don’t even know what that means).
Close game ladies, and high scoring too! Good fight to the end. Eli Manning (350 Pas Yds, 6 TD) had a great game, but so did the Vikings. Every battle has a weakest link- and there was a player on both teams that had plenty of chances but didn't capitalize on opportunities. On the winning side, Jonathan Stewart got 25 touches but only tallied 83 total yards, while Isaiah Crowell was even less effective, managing just 26 yards on 11 touches for Rozzie Square. Canning Queen came out on top in this brutal girl fight! Well done ladies.
Eskimo Brothers still in it- Spanks Bobbum Man to Move into 4th Place
Who’s hot and knows his fantasy football? THIS GUY! Don’t hate because he won last year, Hate because he’s better at this than you, Hate because he LOVES the John Clayton show. But don’t Hate that he wins. I am sure Bobbum Man hated getting pummeled from the get go, but players gonna play play play. Eskimo Brothers had a lead from the start, and took a 51.26-point lead on Sunday afternoon and held the lead throughout the matchup. Eskimo picked up 28.56 points from Carson Palmer (374 Pas Yds, 4 TD/1 Int) and 20.20 from Julio Jones (162 Rec Yds, 1 TD), although Bobbum’s Colts lost, they did have a solid score of 23.40, but that wasn’t much help. Another score that wasn’t much help for Bobbum- Jacoby Jones. He was the only starter throughout the whole league with Negative points. I would focus my hate on Jacoby. Not E.B.
Keigl Titans lets Clitboner finish, but…
Another matchup under 100 points… or as we say, missionary. The Keigl Titans relied O O Oh so heavily on Drew Brees. I mean 44.30 points. Great performance Drew, Seven TDs in one game = gettin’ some! Speaking of play, a few players didn’t get much play… On the winning side, David Johnson and Danny Woodhead got only eight total touches but tallied an outstanding 93 all-purpose yards between them. For Clitboner, Joique Bell managed 56 yards on just seven touches. Also limited action- Good ole Russell. Maybe he needs to get some after all? Keigl Titans, always a lady, let Clitboner finish, but.
Victorious Secret Beats The Vinegar Strokes, Rises to 3rd Place
I sense some Bad Blood in the Hart Household. Victorious Secret put the smack down on Vinegar Strokes 114.44 to 88.64 and put up the highest point total of their season. Hey Secret, did you have a friendly wager on the side? New pair of skis perhaps??? This win was sweet revenge for Victorious Secret following a brutal postseason defeat last year to The Vinegar Strokes. Victorious was victorious from the get-go on Thursday and remained in front for the rest of the matchup. The Strokes stroked hard with most of their players winning on the real field, just not really in the fantasy arena. Have I mentioned I hate Tom Brady? He and I have some bad blood over 2015 but he’s been the secret’s not-so-secret weapon the past 3 weeks as her team’s high scorer. Strokes will be stroking his wounds and ego until the next showdown…
This blog thing is much harder than it looks.
This is me at work:
Cheers to week 9! Who’s blogging next???
-Jo
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