Week 1 is over and, is it just me or did that one fly by? I was all over the place this week and only got to watch one game in its entirety, and it made me sad. This week will be different though, Green Bay is going DOWN.
Not in my Haushka went up against The Vinegar Strokes and nearly died. With two seconds left in a game the Steelers were hopelessly losing, Antonio Brown managed a touchdown - starting the week with what proved to be an unnecessary extra 7 points for The Vinegar Strokes. Sammy Watkins scored a giant ZERO for Not in my Hauschka (to be fair he was shown up by Percy Harvin...) and Peyton Manning got 0.9 (how does a QB win a game with that?!). A great start for the Vinegar Strokes but a word of caution: don't get cocky, nobody wants to see those Vinegar Strokes too soon.
Victorious Secret was Victorious over Rozzie Square. What's her secret? Maybe Tom Brady (cheater), or maybe it's Eddie Lacy (19 carries, 85 yards, and TD)? I guess that's not much of a secret but it looks pretty damn good to start off the season. Rozzie Square...that's a Boston thing right? Wicked. She seems loyal to the Patriots, but their defense only got her 5.90 points; and her kicker, Vinatieri missed his field goal attempt and when the Colts went for 2 after both TDs he wasn't even allowed to try for an extra point. She's got Gronkowski and its tough to argue with that, but she's going to have to marshal her team into something a little better to be a competitor.
Bout That Action IS All Bout that Action boss! She showed up the Kiegl Titans with more flare than Marshawn Lynch rocking his Africa chain. She didn't just win, she nearly doubled the Kiegl Titans score. No surprise here but the Seahawks Defense helped her out with 30.90 points. The Kiegl Titans were brought down by underwhelming performances all around but especially by DeSean Jackson, his strained hamstring, and his zero points. At least your zero scorer was hurt, mine just sucked, see above.
Did you know that the Eskimo Brothers listen obsessively to Football talk radio? 'Cause he does, and with the G.O.A.T. currently residing on his mantle the rest of Leonard's League needs to consider exactly how to take this cold, networking man down! Herban Fire's very respectable team lit up the scoreboard and brought in 90.92 points but unfortunately that wasn't enough to stop the Eskimo Brothers (101.44).
"The Legend Comes from Behind to Edge Clitboner" Thank you NFL.com game recap for that special headliner. Clitboner and The Legend had the most friction filled match of the week separated by only 2.1 points The Legend started Thursday with DeAngelo Willams for 13.20 points, but Clitboner took over the lead on Sunday with nice performances by Robbie Gould (11) and Kendall Wright (101 yards and a TD). Jason Witten, and the Carolina Panthers Defense kept things pretty even for the The Legend. But on Monday Adrian Peterson rushed 31 yards and received 21 - after all that foreplay The Legend still finished first. Typical.
The Canning Queen is starting out the season in style. She got the high score of the week (141.44) and kicked Bobbum Man's Bobbum to the curb. Even with Carols Hyde (168 yards and 2 TDs) and Aaron Rodgers, Bobbum Man's team couldn't hold it's own against the Queen. As much as I love my Cougars (why do I punish myself? Portland State!?) I've got to hand it to Bishop Sankey, he looked great in pre-season and that carried through to game one - 12 carries, 2 TDs , 74 rushing yards and 12 receiving yards. At least he's not wearing purple and gold - now I can cheer for him.
Here comes week 2. Happy Football Everyone!!
Much Love,
Kiki
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