He climbed the ladder, teamed up with his namesake doppelganger DeMarco Murray, beat offinthewoods, gave Yobogoya a first time to remember, took Wrong Turn to Pound town, was brought down by Flacco and his poor pass completion percentages, but he got his butt off the sad bench, moved his Thunder Thighs with the thigh master, licked his wounds, got some sage advice from Yoda, landed the top score of the season, and ultimately was carried to victory by Demariyus Thomas. Interestingly enough, he almost scored the worst coach award for leaving the most points on his bench, but he was edged out of that disgrace by offinthewoods. Quite the season sir, you are the Greatest Of All Time, you have earned the G.O.A.T. Well Done!
For the second year in a row the Green Velvet Recliners have finished second. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride...except that one time in 2011, which was pretty great. Matt Forte and I are a force to be reckoned with, and if Andrew Luck would work on his consistency (and maybe that beard?) I'd be unstoppable. So I've never owned the G.O.A.T. - I'm not at the front of the pack, but you still notice me, I'm freakin' awesome!
The Kiegl Titans took command of Leonard's League early. They even started with Adrian Peterson and recovered from that s***show. The Titans became an arch villain winning everything, making trades and running the waiver wire like a pro. Ultimately, the Green Velvet Recliners knocked her out of the championship round, but she took down the Legend and claimed third in the league. I think she's in it for next year, she's got something to prove and she knows...
We all thought The Legend was a masked man that no one knew and would stay in the background. He quietly turned on his swagger and became something to be feared. As the Titans loosened their grip on the leader board, he took over and was the regular season champion. He was so busy maintaining his image that he forgot to focus on the game and the Kiegl Titans took him down in the final playoff round, he finished fourth in the finals, but damn did he look good doing it.
The Klunebergs looked great at the beginning of the year. He won four of his first five games and then things deteriorated. He couldn't get a good thing going for QB, he cycled through Matt Ryan, Tony Romo, Nick Foles, Ryan Tannehill, and RG III, before finally settling down with Romo. Despite his rotating QB, The Klunebergs are fine with the overall performance. He knows he's fabulous - just watch him. And if you disagree, he'll be mean muggin' to let you know how wrong you are.
Yobogoya was supposed to destroy ya, and just like the Klunebergs, she looked great at the start of the season wining four of her first five matches. After that though, she developed a problem: her starting players performed terribly, until she benched them or dropped them. Ladies and Gentlemen she has coined a new term for us all. "Yobogoya'd". When a player performs poorly and is removed from the starting lineup, only to succeed spectacularly immediately after the lineup change. It plagued her for the rest of the season - her team Yobogoya'd all over itself. BUT, Santa just brought the most adorable Shepard/husky mix to her house (his name is Russel!) and in my book, that means she is a winner.
My Naginta Naginta had a pretty tough season. His team under-delivered all season and he finished with an even 7-7 record. In the end he dominated Your Wife My Kids 102.82 to 56.42 and nabbed 6th place in the league. He's pretty proud of himself too, check out this victory dance.
Your Wife My Kids made it to the playoffs. He finished last in the playoffs, but he still made it. He's a perpetual optimist, he knows how to take the few things he has and make them work for him. He can have a good time with just about anything and make you wish that you could be half as cool as he is. See?
'Bout That Action finished 9th this year. Percy Harvin ditched her about half way through the season and Tom Brady was remarkably unreliable. She had a 6-8 record, but she showed improvement as five of those victories came in her last six games. I've been saying it all season:
The Canning Queen was more or less a silent partner this year, we didn't hear much from her. I maintain that she was pouting from the poor performances of Wes Welker. I, too, was saddened by his poor fantasy showing, but he is still my football boyfriend, and I'm still proud to rock my Welker jersey. I tried talking with her about her season, and how she felt, but Your Wife My Kids' optimism must be wearing off on her because this was all I could get out of her.
Oh how the mighty have fallen. The reigning champion from last season finished 11th overall this year. To say that the Traveling Panty Droppers had a disappointing season would be an understatement. She dropped those panties nine times this year and didn't even make the playoffs. She really isn't phased though, it was a building year, and she knows that she is still fabulous.
There is no nice way to say this: Offinthewoods was awful this year. And he only has one person to blame. The only one who beat Offinthewoods was himself - which was certainly the joke all season so it seems appropriate. He finished with a 4-10 record and two of those wins were from weeks when he didn't look at his lineup. Maybe he's hit on a new strategy - not looking at your lineup. I'm not sure I can support it, but it certainly started working for him.
Thank you all for a fantastic season! We will be presenting the trophy and winnings at our Superbowl party at our place on February 1, 2015. Come on over! We'll watch the Seahawks beat up on whatever team thinks they stand a chance!
Also in a purely unofficial, yet league related note. The Traveling Panty Droppers are in town! We will be hanging out at the Star Lake Inn this Friday (1/2/2015) in Auburn. We should be there around 8, and would love to see you if you are available.
Happy New Year!
Much Love,
Kiki
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