Leonard's League 14/15-Week Eight

I love that everyone decided to get into the Halloween Spirit early.  I didn't realize we were all so into the Holiday - here's a run down of everybody's costumes :)

Inspired by Ben Roethlisberger's 44.78 points and his ridiculous throwback uniform, Offinthewoods dressed up as a bumblebee.  The Kiegl Titans decided to go as Oprah.  I heard her yelling to her Dolphins Defense (31.20 points) "you get 4 sacks, and you get 3 turnovers", she can't give away free stuff every episode, but her blend of hard hitting journalism and inspirational stories motivated her team to a 96.86 victory over offinthewoods.  Or did she intimidate her opponent?  Roethlisberger's total was 53% of offinthewood's score.  His Kicker (Gould), two WR's (Green and Quick), and his W/R RB (Bush), got a grand total of 3.90 points.  Ouch, that stings.  I always knew Oprah controlled everything.

Yobogoya has now lost three in a row, and just as she seems to be having poor taste in setting a lineup (I picked up Fitzgerald from her and he just had the 22.00 game of his season), she also has poor taste in costumes.  Our League's favorite heartbreaker, Wes Welker, had a whopping 0.50 points, her QB Cam Newton rocked a 2.24, and her TE Greg Olsen only had 16 receiving yards for 1.60 points.  She decided to try and contain her team's problems and opted for the sexy ebola containment suit. Not to be outdone the Klunebergs took Antonio Brown's 2 TDs (27.40 points), Mark Ingram's 1 TD and 172 rushing yards (23.50 points), the Patriot's 2 turnovers & 3 sacks (18.70 points) and showed Yobogoya what a hot healthcare worker really looks like.  He's got things under control with a smoldering stare as the original Dr. McDreamy, Dr. Doug Ross from E.R.

Iron Thigh's scored an impressive 134.20, not as good as his (then) record setting 153.32 last week, but nothing to laugh at.  In fact, My Naginta Naginta didn't find it funny at all, dressed as Dr. Spock, he failed to see the humor in any of this week's match ups.  It was highly illogical!  More than half of his team failed to score more than 6 points.  Iron Thighs showed up as Yoda and tried to console My Naginta  "Relax you must. Only by 20.98 beat you did I."  Iron Thigh's low scoring player was his QB (Joe Flacco - 4.00), the rest of them scored over 10, and Golden Tate's 21.10 points has the potential to improve if he can get his catch ratio above 65%.  At least My Naginta tried - his 113.22 total was his 2nd highest score of the season, but lets face reality here: Do, or do not.  There is no try.

'Bout That Action thought she could flatter the refs by showing up as a zebra, and hopefully they would overlook some calls, but her plan backfired.  She quickly became prey to Your Wife My Kids.  He showed up as a lion to support his DEF in London.  They only earned 4 points, but he said "Hakuna Matata" and seemed ok with it.  The Refs were not amused with 'Bout That Action's costume, they gave her Packers DEF 8 penalties for a loss of 84 yards, took away Harvin's 21 yard run with a holding penalty, and then took away his 11 yard follow up play with another holding call.  The Packers got zero points on the fantasy board, Harvin still managed 19.40, but 'Bout That Action only made it to 85.74 points.  Not enough to beat Your Wife My Kids' 104.20, it's still a bit early for him to be breaking out in song, but he watched Jamaal Charles (23.70 points) 13 receptions for 2 touchdowns and started singing "I Just Can't Wait to be King".

They weren't sure about the couples costume, but they have a friendly rivalry, so The Canning Queen and the Traveling Panty Droppers decided to show up together as the Red Jaguars and the Blue Barracuda from Legends of the Hidden Temple.  The Red Jaguars (Canning Queen) looked like the clear winner at the Moat Phase on Thursday (Phillip Rivers 17.78) and through most of the Steps of Knowledge on Sunday (Seattle DEF with 18.20 and a much needed win).  But the Blue Barracuda (Traveling Panty Droppers) made some changes to her lineup, and although she only started one of them (Jacquizz Rodgers - 3.00), it worked.  She took the lead and dominated the Temple Run with a 32.90 contribution from Rob Gronkowski.  Ultimately, the Canning Queen outscored her projections by 34%, but it wasn't enough to take home the Shrine of the Silver Monkey and the Traveling Panty Droppers racked up her 2nd win.

The Green Velvet Recliners had a good week.  Her QB (Andrew Luck, 24.60), star RB (Matt Forte 24.80 -no surprise here, Forte is consistently amazing), and WR (Larry Fitzgerald 22.00 - thanks Yobogoya!) all performed fantastically.  She thought that when she showed up to the party as Ironman, everyone would be super impressed.  But, The Legend got wind of her costume early and decided to one up the Recliners.  His QB (Peyton Manning, 23.44), RB (Arian Foster, 35.30), and WR (Jeremy Maclin, 33.20) all had performances that upstaged her team.  It sucks when you think you've got it in the bag with 123.20 points but you just can't measure up to The Legend and his new league high score of 161.34.

Happy Halloween!!

Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 - Week Seven

In Week Six the Canning Queen's QB (Phillip Rivers) and DEF (Seahawks) really tied the team together.  This week they went up against the Green Velvet Recliners and got peed on by a Chinaman. Dude! Chinaman is NOT the preferred nomenclature.  Alright...how about peed on by a bear?  Because Matt Forte had another fantastic week with 22.90 points, more than Rivers and the Hawks combined.  Andrew Luck came through again with 18.26 - that's a hell of a white Russian, Jackie!  He's not Russian...But Canning Queen's RB's were rushin' for a combined 96 yards and it still wasn't enough to save her so MARK IT ZERO!!  Nobody f*cks with The Recliners.

The Legend and My Naginta Naginta faced off in an office grudge match.  The Legend was in an odd spot this week with Denver and Manning (his QB) facing off against the 49rs (his DEF).  Who do you root for in that situation?  Manning dominated with 26.62 points, so the 1.70 points from the 49rs was bearable, besides it's the niners you can't root for them anyway.  My Naginta Naginta has been having a rough go of it lately he's got good players, they're just not showing up with their game faces on.  In fact, I overheard him giving them a pep talk to them this morning it sounded a lot like this:



Hold on to your butts ladies and gentlemen because the Traveling Panty Droppers kept her panties on!  Her losing streak is over but I'm not quite sure how.  She made zero changes to her lineup, and I'm guessing that she didn't even watch a single play from all of Week Seven.  I guess this shows that even a broken clock is right on occasion?  That doesn't say nice things about offinthewoods either, your loss looks even worse because of your opponent's inattention.  Offinthewoods is going to have take a good look at his team (56.70 total points in Week Seven) if he wants a snowball's chance in hell of getting off his losing streak and beating the Kiegl Titans.

Yobogoya had lost before, but the first time was to the Green Velvet Recliners (girls don't count), and the second time was to a masked man no one knows, he was just a Legend anyway.  She wanted her real first time to be special.  So Iron Thighs lit some candles to set the mood, he chose scents from Yankee Candle's little-known NFL collection - Demarius Thomas (29.10), Golden Tate (21.40) and DeMarco Murray (19.20).  She played hard to get with Randall Cobb's 121 receiving yards and 22.10 total points.  On Sunday afternoon with Cam Newton's 13-yard pass for a TD, he let her take the lead, which we all know is the true sign of a gentleman.  But even Le'Veon Bell's 20.50 points were just token resistance and Iron Thighs had his way with her.  She'll always remember her first.

Russell Wilson's fantasy potential is looking up with 33.90 points (and the Green Velvet Recliners are having second thoughts about rejecting that trade offer), Wilson and the Dolphins Defense carried the Kiegl Titans to a low scoring victory over Your Wife My Kids.  Your Wife My Kids has some good performances from Roddy White (16.00), Dwayne Allen (11.20) and Jamaal Charles (16.70), but without something stellar, or even solid from the rest of the team, there isn't much to be excited about.

Wrong Turn has found her way!  She is no longer lost and she took down The Klunebergs with a strong 19.70 point lead.  The Klunebergs had some disappointing numbers from several players, Mark Ingram (2.90) and Fred Jackson (2.80) both went out with injuries and Matt Ryan (6.82) fumbled once and got sacked 5 times.  But it wasn't about the Klunebergs failure to launch it was about Wrong Turn's mastery of her lineup.  Look out folks because Wrong Turn is now all 'Bout that Action.





The Lions vs. Falcons game kicks off in London this Sunday at 9:30am ET. Remember to set your lineups early!  That's right - London...?  Grab a cup of tea and enjoy the game...wait, it's still American Football - have a damn cup of coffee!

Peace, Love and 'Merica!
Kiki

Leonard's League 14/15 - Week Six

There has been some serious changes to our leader board.  Check it out

Cam Newton (34.06) and Larry Fitzgerald (15.80) had excellent weeks, and both players briefly occupied spaces on Yobogoya's starting lineup.  However Newton spent week 6 riding the pine, while Fitzgerald was dropped for Michael Crabtree (10.90 on the bench).  Will you borrow a couple of my players for a bit?  They need the Yobogoya touch to give them a fantastic week when you don't want them any more. To be fair, playing the right guys still wouldn't have saved Yobogoya from The Legend.  He continues to ride the Manning/Thomas pony off into the sunset for another win, Arian Foster's 2 TDs, 20 carries and 109 rushing yards didn't hurt either.

The Titans are a tough team to keep track of, there's a lot of add/drops and now some trades in the mix too.  Whatever they're doing, its working. The Kiegl Titans have taken over the number 1 spot in the League from the Klunebergs.  They racked up an impressive 127.14 total to his 81.04. The Klunebergs leave very few points on the bench and he's currently the second best coach in the League (behind yours truly), he just had some performance issues this week.  I did ask the Titans to tighten the gap, maybe it was a bit much? Don't worry, I hear it happens to lots of guys.

Despite the loss of a good WR (Victor Cruz went down with a painful looking knee injury), the Green Velvet Recliners claimed the win over My Naginta Naginta.  Nagtina's had two players who were practically identical:  The C.Johnsons (Chris and Calvin).  They look the same on the line up, they both had bad weeks and they both have ankle injuries.  Actually, Naginta's whole lineup was a bit of a let down, except Aaron Rodgers (22.96).  My advice: better discount double check your team if you want to hold your own against the Legend.  Don't forget - the bet this week was that if Naginta lost, he had to take a blow job shot.  For your viewing pleasure:

This week Iron Thighs and Wrong Turn celebrated their anniversary (congrats!!) by going head to head and matching the Green Velvet Recliners/Naginta Naginta bet.  Unfortunately for Wrong Turn, who really has a fantastic team despite her 0-6 record, she now has to pay up by shotgunning a beer.  Iron Thighs took her to Pound Town with a score of 128.04 over 108.84.  "Wrong Turn" is so negative, you need a new team name, something to celebrate the good things you've got going...be proud of that Percy (Harvin)!

Its official.  She's an easy win.  The Traveling Panty Droppers started the Saints Defense and Drew Brees - a great way to watch a game and root for the same team, but a poor decision when that team is on a Bye.  Montee Ball also made her starting lineup, and he has a groin strain placing him on inactive status for at least a few weeks.  Regardless of his sub-par competition, Your Wife My Kids still gets credit for the win, his defense (Lions) registered 8 sacks showing that even though the city is bankrupt at least the Defensive front has some life in it.

Offinthewoods suffered another loss, this time to the Canning Queen.  AJ Green sat out with a toe injury - a toe?!  You want a toe?  I can get you a toe, Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish! Forget about the toe! - the Canning Queen's combo of the Seahawks Defense (25.20- pity the offense couldn't turn that into something) and Phillip Rivers (24.82) really tied the team together. 

Happy Thursday Night Football folks!

Love to all,
Kiki