Leonard's League 16/17 - Championship RoundUp

Sorry this is so late!  It's been written for quite some time but it's posted now :)

Final post of the 16/17 season is here! Yes, I know it's the ides of March. I was busy. This has nothing to do with me having to relinquish the G.O.A.T. NOTHING.

Rozzie Square, I still don't like that name. None of your West Coast league members get it. AND you don't even live there anymore! What about "Cranberry Juice" or "I'm the guy that does his job. You must be the other guy". Or if you want to stay geographical, how about "Halifax Horde"? I have all sorts of ideas, if you need help, just give me a call!

Anyway, now that I've let some of the air out, I can get a better grip on the one of the reasons for this post.  February 1, 2015 the Hawks fell to the Patriots.  We had a bet.  If the good guys win you send us lobstahs. If evil triumphs and a reign of terror is revived we send you a bag of Dicks. Hey - you made the bet, I'm not responsible for your preferences. It may be a bit tardy, but I didn't forget. Enclosed in the package I sent you, please find 1 bag of dicks and 1 box of dicks. The box of dicks is interest. You're welcome.

I'll pay up on the final bag of Dicks next time you're in town.

Ooops, meant this one.

 Also, congratulations are in order. Rozzie Square is the winner of Leonard's League 2016-2017 season! You beat Bobbum Man in the championship 124.36 to 119.78. Impressive, since you were projected to lose by 11 points. Ezekiel Elliot rushed for 2 TD, bringing in 21.20 points and Travis Kelce had a good day with 160 receiving yards and a TD. See? Reign of Terror. Bobbum had a good day too. Rodgers passed 347 yards and threw in 4 TDs, an excellent showing but not enough to stop you. It was a tough loss for Bobbum Man, but it will motivate him for next year. Rozzie - you rocked it this season, you held the winningest (no, I don't know if that's a real word and no, I can't be bothered with a dicktionary right now, I already gave  you all the dicks) record and you earned the G.O.A.T., Congratulations!  The G.O.A.T. was shipped to you and USPS said its in your possession. You will find a minor improvement has been made.

She got her nails did!  Isn't she pretty?  Certain privileges are bestowed on the champion, one of which is the ability to the alter the G.O.A.T. following the rules below.

1. The G.O.A.T. must retain it's original goat-like appearance
2. Previous winner's modifications may not be covered, removed or otherwise defamed
3. The champion is solely responsible for passing the trophy to the next winner on or before April 1 following the title transfer*

Congratulations again, well done this season! Beware next season...so far the curse of The G.O.A.T. is no joke and every champion has finished outside the playoffs the year following their win. Sweet Dreams!

Much Love,
Kiki

*Exceptions can be made if delivery of the G.O.A.T must occur after April 1 at the discretion of the new Champion and with review privileges by the entirety of Leonard's League.  Punishments for late delivery are determined by the new Champion, are subject to review by Leonard's League and should include some form of public humiliation. Legitimate reasons for late transfers of the G.O.A.T. may include but are not limited to: apocalyptic scenarios which include the loss of basic shipping services, road closures and/or the sudden, unexpected loss of internal combustion engines; allegations of cheating which may or may not be properly investigated by the NFL, Leonard's League and the ASPCA; or exhaustion combined with nausea, forgetfulness, a propensity to cry at the drop of a hat and a laser like focus on all things relating to very tiny people - more commonly recognized as pregnancy.

That's right - The Schafers are pregnant!!  September 8 there's going to be an extra Schafer around for Leonard to keep track of.  We think he can handle it!

Leonard's League 16/17 - Final Week!!

Hey hey folks! Your Wife and My Kids all talked and decided to give Mrs. Schafer a well deserved week off. I'm all thumbs when it comes to this stuff but here we go!!!

First match-up we saw The Legend use D. Johnson's big McCoy to give The Vinegar Strokes a really dirty Santos. Doubling up the score in a route.

 

I'll Drink to That did some work on someone's Endo putting the beat down with some handy work from Rocket Lockett and the LOB.   It's always nice to see the hometown team help in a win but it would have been nice if James Starks would have left his Halloween costume back in October....

Then we had Rozzie Square (whatever that is) go all wicked hawd on the kids.  Using C. Boswell kicking it faw and the Patriots D kicking my ass all over the yawd.  That wasn't very nice and I'll make sure you get that bag of dicks real soon over there.

Last but not least it was Bobbum Man dropping the hammer on Victoria and her secret.  I guess all you need is one good Cook living in a Hightower to propel into the title game.  That and the fact that Todd is continuing the trend that he's done all season by completely peeing down his leg.

I hope everyone has a fantastic holiday season and good luck in the title match!! That's a lie, I'm not in the championship so I don't really care about it 😆 👍  But, I would like to thank our fantastic commissioner for everything she does.  Kiki you're a rockstar and thanks for a great year!

GO DAWGS!!!!


***Editor's note***  It was painful to allow that last statement space on the blog.  However, in the interest of Washington Football, Leonard's League, ethics and overall integrity this post was faithfully recreated as provided.  Gratuitous compliments and booze helped.  Thanks Keegan!!

Happy Christmas and a Very Merry New Year to you all!!

Much Love,
Kiki, Mike Leach and Staff Sergeant Snuffles

Leonard's League 16/17 - Week ?

Hi guys! We are starting week 14 and it's our last week before playoffs.  I think this is the most wide open the last spot in the winner's bracket has ever been.  This week is a big one, the GOAT could be yours - set your lineups!!  Here are the current standings:

1. Rozzie Square - at 10-3 she moved up into first place this week
2. Bobbum Man - moved to second with a 9-4 record after a loss to Rozzie Square last week
3. Victorious Secret - 9-4 record,. her place is secure in the winners bracket
4. Vinegar Strokes - 7-6 record, he is on the bubble for either the winners or the consolation bracket
5. Your Wife My Kids - 7-6 record, he's got a shot at moving up into the winner bracket
6. The Legend - 7-6 record, he could move up to the winner bracket unless he gets hit by a hackysack
7. I'll Drink to That - 7-6 record, from 7th place she could still make it into the winner bracket!
8. In Your Endo - 6-7 record, he needs a win to stay in the consolation bracket, just breathe!
9. Keigl Titans - 6-7 record, she's on the bubble, the consolation bracket is still a real possibility
10. Mocha's Maniacs - 4-9 record - valiant effort this year, it just wasn't enough
11. EBDB BnB - 4-9 record - your season is over, but you've got a great personality!
12. The Demogorgon - 2-11 record.  The curse of the goat is real, yo!

Starting playoffs next week and here is the breakdown
1st plays 4th
2nd plays 3rd
5th plays 8th
6th plays 7th
9th and below - you're out!

I  know...I've been bad about updates!  I haven't forgotten about you, it's just been a crazy few weeks for me - these seagulls are vicious.  Tell you about it my friend will.



Don't Fall Asleep!

Leonard's League 16/17 - Week Nine

Lets take a look at the leaderboard!

Currently at 7-2 and 991.24 points scored, Bobbum Man is our leader.  He won this week's high scoring match up against The Vinegar Strokes with 141.78 points.  Melvin Gordon rushed for 196 yards and a TD, that is one impressive game. By Gordon and Bobbum.

Currently in second place, also with a 7-2 record (though with fewer total points scored 889.84) is Victorious Secret.  She took down Your Wife My Kids with a beautiful performance by Dak Prescott (247 passing yards, 3 TDs and 20 rushing yards).  She did have several players score below expected: Crabtree, Booker, and Barnidge all scored 3 or less.  Ultimately, it didn't matter - the Chiefs brought in 18.90 points with 2 sacks and an interception and Jay Ajayi had a 111 yard night.  Careful Bobbum, Victorious will take you down and smile while she does it.  She means business!

After defeating The Demogorgon, Rozzie Square is on a three win streak.  She also had three players score zero this week.  All that is fitting, since she's in third place.  Mike Evans continues to be a strong part of her lineup, 150 receiving yards and two TDs, for 27 points on Thursday night.  From there things just got better for her, why bother starting players who will play when you have three players score over 21 points?  Three is definitely her lucky number.

Your Wife My Kids lost to Victorious Secret and dropped a spot into 4th.  YWMK didn't really have any standouts this week, his whole team was consistently...Meh.  Although Johnathan Stewart did manage to get only 42 yards from 15 touches.  That is a bit of a standout, just not a good one.  At least he is confident!

The Kiegl Titans used those muscles and jumped up to spots on the leader board to 5th.  In the process she leaped over Mocha's Maniacs by a slim 6.02 margin.  Mike Wallace had 124 yards and a TD for a very respectable 18.40 points - his best game of the year.  And with the Patriots on a bye, the Titans subbed in the lesser Manning for Brady and he brought in 20.88 points.  Why couldn't he do that when The Demogorgon had him?

In Your Endo lost to I'll Drink to That, putting him in into 6th place.  This was a close game only 1.34 points declaring I'll Drink to That as the winner.  The good thing for Endo is that he managed to zip up his perfect lineup, which means he did the best he could.  The sad thing is his best wasn't good enough.  Just like his RB Terrance West, 27 yards on 16 touches?  Your best isn't good enough West!

The Legend dropped into 7th with his loss to the EBDB BnB.  His QB, Jameis Winston (I'll admit I had NO idea who that was till today) had a solid game on behalf of the Buccaneers (oh!  That's why I didn't know him) with 3 TDs and 19.80 points.  His issue this week was underperformance of some normally solid players - Dez Bryant (1.90), Demaryius Thomas (5.60), Emmanual Sanders (4.70).  If its any consolation those 12 points you left with LeSean McCoy on the bench wouldn't have saved you...

I'll Drink to That beat down In Your Endo this week kicking herself up 2 spots into 8th this week.  Her standout this week was Rishard Matthews with 2TDs and 63 rushing yards.  Her win is even more impressive when you realize that she left 5.70 points on the bench by leaving Tyler Lockett out.  I'd call it a Jimmy Graham moment - Vinegar knows all about that this week.

Mocha's Maniacs dropped to 9th in her loss to the Kiegl Titans.  It wasn't a bad week for her 90.66, but it wasn't enough.  Her downfall was starting Derrick Henry...who is out with a strained calf.  Pretty sure she could have picked up an RB capable of making up the 6.02 difference.  Bummer.  9th place officially places the Maniacs on the playoff bubble. Bust out a knife and cut someone...you got this you Maniac you!

Despite a measly 9.60 points from Cam Newton, EBDB BnB defeated The Legend and moved up to 10th place.  Julio Jones had a great game, 111 yards and a TD but nobody is surprised by Julio.  Travis Benjamin's knee injury and 0.50 points was a disappointment.  But 10th place is a rough spot.  EBDB - you can't rely on a diversified business venture to get you through the season.   You've got to focus, where's your drive man?!

The Vinegar Strokes are in eleventh place.  He had a great game this week - seriously - Latavius Miller (30.70), Jimmy Graham (22.30) and Mark Ingram (29.10) all kicked ass.  Did everyone see those one handed catches by Jimmy!?  Pass Interference?  No thanks.  Jimmy will just catch it.  Unfortunately, 136.16 wasn't enough to win Vinegar's match up.  If he'd played anybody else he would have won this week, but he went up against Bobbum Man so....yeah....

Dead last is the Demogorgon.  She went up against Rozzie Square who started TWO players on a bye and one injured player who didn't take the field.  The Demogorgon is 1-8.  Ouch.

Is this a bad time to bring up the fact that playoffs start Week 15 and only the top 8 make it?

Leonard's League 16/17 - Week Eight

This week it is a guest post from the amazing Victorious Secret.  Thanks Laura!!

Hello Leonard’s League! It's finally election time, finally!  We also have week 8 is in the books.  It seems as if yesterday I was dreaming of the football season and now it’s at the halfway mark.  As I reflect back, it makes me appreciate the competitive spirit we have shown and the bonds we have formed during each and every game.  I am tickled every time I reach for my phone to check a score, or to see the worthy opponent I’ll be facing in the coming week.  With that said, I have come to the conclusion that we, as a league, are stronger together.  Let’s get to the action and break down week 8 of this wonderful thing we call Leonard’s League.

Victorious Secret was a nasty woman and beat Vinegar Strokes 109.92 to 88.62.  Vinegar Strokes had a strong performance out of QB Carr (4 TDs and 513 yards) but he targeted Secret’s Amari Cooper 15 times for 173 yards and 23.3 points.  Vinegar Strokes couldn’t recover from Ingram’s -1.50. Victorious Secret had another great showing from the Chief’s defense to hold on to the win. Nasty woman indeed.

The Legend and the Demogorgon had a low scoring battle 78 to 62.16.  The legend had some decent performances out of QB Winston (16.8 pts) and Jacquizz Rodgers(13.8pts) but it helps when the Demogorgon played Beckham who was on a bye and Cobb who was out with a hamstring injury. I think someone was already day dreaming about Hawaii.

It was a close race with Your Wife My Kids squeaking past I’ll Drink To That 119.70 to 116.22. I’ll Drink to That had another impressive showing from QB Matt Ryan (288 yards and 22.42pts) and her RB D. Murray (123 rushing yrds) and J. Howard(153 rushing yards for 26.2pts) but YWMKs also had strong performances out of his RB J. Stewart (22pts) and WR T. Hill (24.30) It was anyone’s game and I’m sure ill Drink to That wishes she played some of her bench. She left 43.48 sitting there. Ouch. I bet she wishes she was drinking some Rum on the beach in Hawaii with The Demogorgon.

Bobbum Man killed EBDB BnB 118.24 to 54.98. No recount needed on this one. Bobbum Man has been dominating this year and is looking to win the race. Huge performance out of QB A. Rodgers (246yrds for 30.84pts) and had 6 players scoring over 10pts. I think maybe EBDB BnB has all his players resting at his BnB. It’s hard when your kicker gets you the most points C. Sturgis (13pts). Maybe he needs a straight shooter like Mike Cox on his team.

It was another close race between In Your Endo and Keigl Titans. In Your Endo edged Keigl 90 to 82.  Keigl had a good performance out of Tom Brady (315yds and 4 TDs) She had other great turn outs from J Crowder (19pts) but In Your Endo edged her out with a strong showing from RB M. Forte (21.8pts) and QB M. Mariota (19.9). He still won with having his kicker on bye.

Rozzie Square beat Mocha’s Maniacs 95.90 to 88.80.  Rozzie’s QB D. Brees had a good showing against the Seahawks (265yds and a TD) and had 4 other players scoring over 14 points. She won despite her WR M. Floyd logging 0 pts. It does help when your opponent has the Ram defense playing on their bye week. Maniacs had some good showings from RB D. Freeman (17.80pts) and Gronk (16.90pts) but couldn’t recover from the missed defense.

Reflect back Leonard’s League.  Take a look at your mistakes from the previous weeks and use those to better your team, and yourself.  Let’s go ahead and play a full roster.  That may end up being the deciding factor between a W and an L.  Don’t build walls build bridges. Or, maybe it’s the other way around. In any case, remember that if we all work hard and play the best players’ week in and week out, we can make Leonard’s League Great Again.

Leonard's League 16/17 - Week Seven

Ooops!

Leonard's League 16/17 - Week Six

Victorious Secret fell to The Legend 65.26 to 107.02.  Victorious had a rough week, Roethlisberger went down with a knee injury and only scored 7.56.  Eddie Lacey went down with an ankle injury that will have him out for at least a week. Arian Foster is still dealing with a hamstring injury and he only brought in 1.50 points.  It's really a self-inflicted wound, Victorious, stop hurting yourself!  The Legend had a couple of outstanding players this week LeSean McCoy, 3 TDs and 140 rushing yards (32.20 points), David Johnson, 3TDs and 111 rushing yards (31.80 points).  It was Johnson's second week in a row scoring over 30.  That's just impressive.  Super human.  Maybe even angelic?

A low scoring showdown between In Your Endo and Mocha's Maniacs went to Mocha 84.00 to 89.20.  This could have been a totally different game if both teams had used their bench properly.  In Your Endo started Russell Wilson, and as much as we love him (Go Hawks!!), he wasn't a fantasy rock star this week, he only tallied 10.50 points.  But Endo's benched QB Marcus Mariota threw 3 TDs and scored 25.76 points, that could have been a win.  If Mocha had started Chris Thompson (10.0) instead of Sammie Coates (goose egg) who was out with a thumb injury she would have kept the lead and took home the win.  Let this be a lesson to us all - don't leave the wrong player on the bench!

Bobbum Man is back in first.  He got there by putting The Demogorgon down for her 6th straight loss of the season (97.62 to 105.96).  6th.  Straight. Loss.  This week the Demogorgon picked up Randall Cobb on waivers but forgot to put him in, if she had, she would have won.  It is a little easier to lose to the top ranked team though.  Bobbum Man has been kicking ass - Lamar Miller brought him 29.80 points and Brandon Cooks scored 23.50 points, a combined 3 TDs between them.  With those kind of numbers it didn't even matter that Bobbum started Jordan Reed who is out on concussion protocol.  Did I say easier?  Yeah...congratulations Bobbum Man on a job well done...come have a beer in my cellar.

Your Wife My Kids claimed second place in the standings by beating Rozzie Square 94.78 to 79.48.  YWMK had a solid game, Andrew Luck completed 253 passing yards including 1 TD for 20.38 points.  Johnathan Stewart came back from his injury and brought YWMK 2 TDs and 20.50 points.  Not too bad, although for both teams, this was a game about missed opportunities.  For YWMK Allen Robinson only caught 3/6 and for Rozzie Square T.Y. Hilton was targeted 9 times but only caught 3.  Rozzie's biggest missed opportunity was starting Mike Evans, who was on a bye. Those byes are a real bitch.

In another low scoring match up I'll Drink to That fell to the EBDB BnB 71.14 to 77.58.  IDtT has the Seahawks D, and naturally, they kicked ass, 21 points from 4 sacks and an interception, but it just wasn't enough.  It's not a good week when the second high scorer from a match is the defense.  IDtT started James Starks who was out following knee surgery, but EBDB BnB started Theo Riddick who was out with an ankle injury - net zero.  As much as I hate to say it the best performer of this matchup was Cam Newton for EBDB BnB - before he got a concussion and threw a hissy fit at the press conference, Newton racked up 24.98 points.  Not much to get excited about here, neither team crested 80 points, but since this was a marriage matchup, I'm glad to see they're still talking to each other!

Wait.  EBDB...you gotta work on your lines man...

The Kiegl Titans were this week's high scorer with 111.44.  The Titans have Tom Brady (3TDs and completed 376 yards); and Spencer Ware (131 rushing yards and a TD) to thank for that.  The Titans just picked up Ware this week, an excellent move, wanna trade?  The Vinegar Strokes only manged a total of 77.10 points, even with Christine Michael's 2TDs.  Michael, with 20.30 points was Vinegar's high scorer, next down was Jimmy Graham's 8.90 points.  That's a big jump.  Pssst...Vinegar...during football season you need more than one player score more than 9 points to get a win.  Wanna know another seasonal secret? 

Next week is Halloween - can't wait to see all your costumes!! Happy Football!

Leonard's League 16/17 - Week Five

The Demogorgon scored 55.84 points last week. -2.26 from her QB, Ryan Tannehill.

Is she even trying?

Nope.

Not this week.

Leonard's League 16/17 - Week Four

Let me just start by saying Kristina and Joanna are far superior at writing weekly Fantasy updates. They typically have some sort of #theme and accompanying funny pictures.

I came into this week’s post with really no plan. Just figured I give it some Josh (a little bit of Josh goes a long way) and things would work out for the best. Well? Maybe… We shall see.

My post, my team first…

Bobbum Man Vs. I’ll Drink to That

Bobbum Man came into this week after losing to the Keigl Titans which didn’t sit well with him as it broke his 2-0 winning streak - a far better start to the year than last so it chewed on his nuts a little. The motivation to win did good things for him as he squeaked by I'll Drink to That on Monday night with a total of 108.58 points to 104.12 thanks in part to a decent performance by a last minute pic-up Sam Bradford with 15.08 points. Had Carson Palmer (8.52) not shit down his leg, Bobbum Man may be singing a different song. Sorry, I’ll Drink to That.  Bobbum Man got some additional help by Jordan Reed (19.30), Melvin Gordon (17.90), and that crazy kicker, Mike (Ted) Nugent with an impressive 16 points. I'll Drink to That had some impressive performers, which put her in the lead Monday Night. DeMarco Murray (23.90), Frank Gore (15.5) and Matt Bryant (14) kept Bobbum Man on his toes throughout Monday Night's game. The 7 and change lead by I’ll drink to That just wasn’t enough to take the “W”.

I read that I'll Drink to That actually averages more per game in losses (101.35) than wins (90.76). A loss with 104.12 points must have been tough. Sorry again I’ll Drink to That.

Bobbum Man (3-1, 426.26 points) climbs into second place and I'll Drink to That (2-2, 384.22 points) drops to eighth place.

I’ll Drink to That better call up some reinforcements before taking on the Legend this week

Victorious Secret Vs. Demogorgon’s

Wikipedia says a Demogorgon is a “powerful demon prince. He is known as the Prince of Demons, a self-proclaimed title he holds by virtue of his power and influence, which, in turn, is a title acknowledged by both mortals and his fellow demons. Demogorgon was also named as one of the greatest villains in D&D history”. Additionally used for the name given to the evil creature that lives in the parallel universe in Stranger Things – on Netflix now. Check it out.

Despite being a demon prince, the Demogorgon was spell-cast by Victorious Secret’s Big Ben Roethlisberger. Apparently he can pull down 31.90 points and cast a 3.5e Spell at the same time to end the poor Demogorgon. Wow, I was starting to think Ben was a pussy! This gave Victorious Secret a big head start. Combine that with Crabtree’s impressive 26.9 and the Kansas City Chiefs 10.5 points and there was really no reason for Victorious Secret fill the other positions. Those three totaled 69.3 points. 5+ points greater than Demogorgon’s total score of 64.04. Good thing Rashad Jennings shit up the back or this matchup may have been an even bigger excrement exhibit.

It appears that Demogorgon’s team just didn’t show up! Only AJ Green (23.30) and the ultimate, Steven Hauschka (11) scored over 10 points. The others must have just stood around and fondled each other while lesser Manning watched and sucked his thumb – not sure.

0-4 for the Demogorgon’s. Is the GOAT in trouble? I’ve grown to like it on our mantel. The Demogorgon’s need to step it up soon or the GOAT may fall into the wrong hands – Bobbum Man?

Victorious Secret (3-1, 388.74 points) climbs into fourth place, while The Demogorgon (0-4, 312.24 points) stays in last (sad face)

Looks like Victorious Secret will be playing the ever winning Bobbum Man and the Demogorgon’s will match up against In Your Endo. Keep your eyes on this one.

Your Wife My Kids Vs. In Your Endo

What do I say about this matchup?!? So much comes to mind, but just doesn’t go down on paper quite right. If only there was a federally funded program out there, designed to help me put these words on paper. That way all of you can be responsible for my lack of creativity and inability to write. Sounds fair, yeah?

What may not be fair was the loss that In Your Endo suffered against Your Wife My Kids this week. It appears the battle was won by Your Wife My Kids right from the start and continued that way throughout the rest of the weekend. In Your Endo fell to Your Wife My Kids 108.06 to 88.26. YWMK’s victory was aided by four heavy hitters this week. The Broncos pulled in a respective 16.20 points along with Le’Veaon Bell’s 17.80. Isaiah Crowell (20.20) and Will Fuller (26.80) crushed it this week. Hard to hang with players pulling those numbers. I guess we can forgive Stephen Gostkowski for a big fat zero – or can we?

In Your Endo’s players just didn’t bring it to the table this week. They were probably out late, playing laser tag and pushing their limits at Trampoline Nation (not quite what I was intending to say). However, as we all know, Russell Wilson, despite not being 100% showed up and pounded out 21.86 points. Greg Olsen does what Greg Olsen does and jerked off 15.60 points. Let’s not over-look the Minnesota Vikings (12.20). Impressive! Hey Matt Forte (4.30) and Jeremy Langford (0.00), how about you earn a living and keep In Your Endo in the game?

There will be a house divided this week as Your Wife My Kids takes on Mocha's Maniacs (2-2, 357.62). Any interesting bets we need to know about? In Your Endo may want to think about getting on the Right side as he goes up against The Demogorgon (0-4, 312.24). She’s got something to prove.

The Vinegar Strokes Vs. Mocha's Maniacs

Wooo…  Whooo. Whooooo (train whistle)! Look out, here comes The Vinegar Strokes! Are the Strokes on their way to an unstoppable ending? If they keep up their current pace, an explosively victorious ending is surly insight.

With a 132.26 to 84.12 defeat over Mocha’s Maniacs, The Vinegar Strokes move into first place and in good standing to take the GOAT. Derek Carr (23.76), Antonio Brown (18.80) and Mark Ingram (16.50) were a solid foundation to what would become the highest scoring team of the week. What really brought the house down was Vinegar’s remaining players, who, all but two were in the double digit category (15.00, 9.90, 11.30, 13.90, 8.0 and 15.10). Unbelievable numbers for a team. I know you all watched – how about that Jimmy Graham. Finally!

Mocha's Maniacs… You didn’t to all that bad. You did pretty good considering you were up against a competitor in the throes of Vinegar Strokes. Matt Stafford (6.22) was a turd, along with Hopkins (0.4), Bernard (4.2) and Landry (6.1). They just didn’t have it this week. Thank goodness for Chris Thompson (12.6), Devonta Freeman (12.4) and of course the LA Rams! (24.3). At least they know how the game works. Mocha, you deserve a win. I’d go sexual bet for matchup against Your Wife My Kids.

The Vinegar Strokes will take on Rozzie Square (2-2, 413.76) this week. Better watch out Rozzie this one is may not be able to hold back…

Pretty sure it’s sexual

The Legend Vs. Keigl Titans

I’m going to use this forum and say that the Oregon ducks suck. For those who don’t know, The Keigl Titans have a hardcore allegiance to the ducks and it felt GOOD when the Cougs kicked the shit out of them for the second year in a row last weekend. I’m sure they are taking the loss with the greatest of integrity and unrivaled sportsmanship. Good luck playing the Huskies (rated 5^th in the Nation) this weekend! I’ll be sure to watch that game and cheer on the boys in purple and gold (only time it happens).

Not

The Legend broke his losing streak this month with a punishing blow to the Keigl Titans. He was able to muscle through with a 120.34 to 77.80 win. The Houston Titans were Legends top scorers with 21.20 points. They were followed closely behind by LeSean McCoy (16.80) and Demaryius Thomas (15.40). Phillip Rivers had a pretty good game (should do better) with 15.84 points and Emanuel Sanders fingered 14.8. Legends remaining players kept him in the game; all bring home respectable scores. With the second highest score of the week at 120, can we expect the Legend has broken the funk and is on the move? Keep an eye out!

Oh Titans… I’m sure it was a tough weekend for you. First your precious dicks… I mean, ducks and then this. A nasty loss to the Legend. It’s OK! There are many weeks ahead. If you keep Eddie Royal, (18.80), Dak Prescott (16.10) and that kicker of yours, Adam Vinatieri healthy and well fed, you should be able to hold on.

The Legend matches up to I'll Drink to That (2-2, 384.22) this week who typically has high scores while the Keigl Titans take on the EBDB BnB (2-2, 416.30). Kind of a match made in heaven. Battle of will – a battle of muscle!

EBDB BnB Vs. Rozzie Square

Julio, Julio, Julio! EBDB BnB’s Julio Jones brought down the BnB with 36 fucking (had to) points this week. Had this act of sheer athleticism not shown itself this week, the EBDB BnB would be looking for a new place for the EBDB brotherhood.

Looking at the numbers, Rozzie Square had things going there for a bit. Drew Brees (9.88) was no help, but Matt Jones squared up and realized 19.80 points; almost out performing Ezekiel Elliott’s impressive 21.70. Maybe Mike Evans (5.9) and Chris Boswell (5.0) need to take another walk around the squara and get right, cause that-just aint-gunna-cut-it. Thanks for showing up Patriots, but 6.4 points aint gunna keep the taxes at bay. Way to go PAL!

EBDB BnB took advantage of these shortcomings and became a brother favorite with 19.60 points from the Raiders and dare I say it, 14.60 points from Cam Newton. Hey Cam, good to see you could half-way crawl out from under your towel and actually throw the ball. Good work – way to do your job! The remaining EBDB crew swung from Jones’s nuts and provided the minimum effort to keep EBDB in the winning circle.

EBDB BnB will take on the Keigl Titans (1-3, 335.48) this week. I’m sure they will be suffering from a duck loss and looking for a Fantasy win. Will EBDEB BnB let it happen? We shall see.

Like a boss

Good luck to all of you…

~ Josh

Leonard's League - Week Three

Week 3 STANDS FOR WEEK HASHTAG! #OMFGameon

When a friend asks for a guest football summary, you #digdeep. You #makeitwork, you #doyourbest. And when the going gets tough, you get Britney BITCH. And hashtags. Britney’s career #BLOWS these pros out of the water- ok maybe not the #BetterManning, but pretty much everyone else. And by Britney, I mean this girl can BLOW #truth.  Every time you think she’s gone down in flames, she hits us #OneMoreTime.  Brit Brit is back to share all things week 3 for Leonard and friends. For your sake (and for mine) Britney will only share about half of her things. Trust me, it’s better this way. The other half will be straight plagiarism. And hashtags. You’re welcome and good morning Thursday.

Let’s start with secrets and drinking… Secrets win. Hands down. #Secretsdontmakefriends. Victorious Secret put up the second-highest score this week and took down I'll Drink to That 114.28 to 98.58. This was not how it was supposed to end. Sadly for I'll Drink to That, she started Eifert who was out with an injury- smooth move, and played Carson Palmer instead of Matt Ryan. NEGATIVE points Carson?  Palmer’s bad day was matched by the Chiefs defense scoring 40 points for Victorious. Sweet win Secret.  Gurley and Crabtree helped as well, despite your entire bench being injured. And Palmer, you sucked this week. #nothankyoustupidcardinals

Your Wife My Kids Snatched the #W from The Demogorgon and grabbed himself a spot in the #top5. YWMK had Tevin Coleman and his three touchdowns (42 Rsh Yds, 47 Rec Yds, 3 TD) with 26.90 points and the Denver Broncos DEF (17 PA, 4 Sack, 1 Int, 1 Fum), who scored 18.40. Sadly for The Demogorgon, she too had a negative scoring player- Ryan Mathews was the only other player in the league to do so. Hill and Hausch put up solid scores, but it wasn’t enough. Demo- this is part of your plan right? #theninjasneak

Close game between In Your Endo and Vinegar Strokes

In Your Endo snagged the top spot in the league after beating The Vinegar Strokes (second place, 2-1, 332.98 points) 110.32 to 104.26. The Vikings Defense (10 PA, 1 TD, 8 Sack, 3 Int) put up the second-highest player score of the week with 37.60 points. In Your Endo has beaten expectations every week and this week was no different.  Christine Michael led The Vinegar Strokes with 23.10 points (106 Rsh Yds, 2 TD) while Mark Ingram brought in 18.70 (77 Rsh Yds, 30 Rec Yds, 1 2PT, 1 Rec TD). The Vinegar Strokes got zero points from Kelvin Benjamin, which might have made the difference in the outcome. Kelvin apparently was not on Cam’s radar #ATALL this game… he can’t get no satisfaction. (I’m trying Brit, but it’s not easy to weave you in. #weavebrit #TooEasy #CarryOn. Speaking of carries, picture Sean on Sunday:

 

Wait, Bobbum was in first? #waitwhat?  Keigl Titans bounced Bobbum Man right out of the top spot. #shortlived 

Keigl Titans (10th place) got a #W by beating  Bobbum Man 87.02 to 80.00- low scoring #OUCH. Keigl’s Dak Prescott led the team with 23.52 points while LeGarrette Blount (who?) scored 22.50. Keigl Titans came into the Sunday night game facing a 17.00-point deficit, but scored 29.82 to seal the comeback. This was a back-and-forth battle that saw the lead change hands three times, with the largest lead being 17.00 points after Sunday evening. This upset was revenge for a loss to Bobbum Man in their last meeting a season ago. Bobbum Man had one fairly noteworthy player that let some chances slip through his hands. Despite being targ eted eight times, Brandin Cooks could only manage two catches. 1^st place cant rest Bobbum, you gotta work for that. #didntknowyouwereinfirst

EBDB BnB, keep yo head up. You can still make it to #1. Hashtag1.  Even though Mocha's Maniacs just dropped you into 9th Place. Hashtag 9^th. 

Maniacs beat EBDB BnB, who had #scoringissues this week, 90.50 to 55.48. I think there’s a #littlebluepill for that. But #Idigress. Mocha's Maniacs took a 5.60-point lead on Thursday and remained in front for the rest of the matchup. Or should we say, #ontop. No, we shouldn’t, but lets face it- these were some LOW scoring teams! The Maniacs started one player with zero points while EBDB BnB also served up one #ebdbbnbgooseegg, meaning both sides missed scoring opportunities. Mocha (2-1, 273.50 points) falls to eighth place and EBDB BnB (1-2, 315.30 points) drops to ninth place.EBDB BnB had one fairly important starter that missed out on opportunities. Despite being targeted seven times, Julio Jones could only reel in one catch.#FAIL. Hopefully both teams can make it through this week and put their game faces on in week 4. #week3shavedheadtrophy

 What’s a Rozzie for the Win- Legend goes down!

#RZ Square got the win over The Legend 138.54 to 97.00 in a matchup with three lead changes. She also put up the highest score for the week- #RZFORPRESIDENT!. Rozzie Square came into the Sunday games already in front 23.70 to 6.10. That advantage evaporated by the end of the early Sunday games when Legend climbed his way to a 36.70 point lead.  Square then reclaimed the lead during Sunday's late afternoon games with the help of 23.40 points from T.Y. Hilton. OK wait- Brees AND HILTON? That draft was RIGGED!  How DO we get our draft pick assignments anyway? #draftassignmentreally #dontgetit

And some food for thought for you folks… don’t hate, appreciate!

Happy week 4! #slaveforfantasyfootball

Xo,

#youtrywritingthesummaryitsnoteasy

jo