Leonard's League 15/16 Week Ten

This week I am going to sum up each match with a gif from our favorite 90s movies.

This gem is direct off the NFL Game Center Recap.  "Not in my Hauschka Throat-Punches Eskimo Brothers, Notches 7th in a Row".  With a final score of 71.52 to 141.34 I couldn't agree more.

The Kiegl Titans led Rozzie Square all week.  On Monday night Larry Fitzgerald and Andre Ellington formed a Flying V and Rozzie Square flew ahead of the Titans.

The Vinegar Strokes had a great performance from Antonio Brown with 139 receiving yards and 2 TDs, but it was The Legend led by Adrian Peterson with an impressive 203 rushing yards who claimed the victory.

It was a high scoring match and Bout That Action would have won almost any other match up.  But she got taken out by the Canning Queen - this week's dominant predator.

Bobbum Man started the best his team had to offer, leaving 0 points on the bench.  Herban Fire can't say the same, he left 23.70 on his bench.  Lucky for the Fire, Bobbum Man is riding his sinking ship of a team all the way down.

Speaking of points on the bench check this one out.  Victorious Secret beat Clitboner by 0.96 points.  Victorious left 3 points on her bench, which would have helped - but Clitboner left 10.60 on his bench.  That could have gotten him his first win since Week 3.

Hope everyone weathered the first fall storm okay!  Our place managed to be in a 2 block pocket of power and we lucked out.  We had snow here Sunday morning and I hear Crystal might be opening soon!  I love Fall.  Whoo!

Leonard's League 15/16 Week Nine

It takes nine players to make a team, but sometimes a whole team's performance can be explained by 1 player.  Let's check out week nine's standouts with Case In Point

Herban Fire (Derek Carr) v. Victorious Secret (Tom Brady):  Herban Fire lights up the leader board, jumping up into third place.

Herban Fire is quietly dominating the League right now.  Just like Derek Carr.  Oh you don't know who Derek Carr is - ME NEITHER!  Turns out, he is the QB for the Oakland Raiders, and he gets either a few points in a game or 22+, this man does not know what hey diddle diddle right down the middle means.  Not sure I do either...anyway...he is all or nothing, and this week was an all week.  BUT.  He's from Oakland so obviously we don't pay any attention to him until we realize he is awesome. 

Victorious Secret has had a difficult season, she's made some mistakes this season, but that just means she has a chip on her shoulder and something to prove.  Case in point: Tom Brady.  The Patriots went up against the Redskins on Sunday and Brady threw an interception.  In stead of crying in the locker room and plotting elaborate cheating schemes (that's a strictly post game ritual), he got in position and tackled Keenan Robinson himself!  Yeah, so I messed up, but at least I took you out in the process.

Bobbum Man (McCluster) v. Vinegar Strokes (Antonio Brown):  Not sure if quality or quantity won this match up but the Strokes take the win with big numbers from 3 players.

Dexter McCluster has been one of Bobbum Man's most consistent players.  He can be counted on to get over 13 points...since November 1st.  But he just hurt his ankle and if nothing else, his name illustrates what Bobbum Man has dealt with all season.  His season has been an absolute Cluster of Ducks.   This week is a perfect example - finally breaking the 75 point barrier for the first time since week 3 (yay!), but a couple injuries, and one player riding the pine.  An absolute ClusterDuck.

You can't have a post about standout players and not mention Antonio Brown this week.  He put up a career high, Pittsburg Steeler franchise record for 284 receiving yards and 22 rushing yards.  Sure he fumbled, but he still put up big numbers and won the game.  The Vinegar Strokes did the same 3 players with 71% of his score, he stumbled with some of his lineup but he put up big numbers where it counted and won the game.

Not in my Hauschka (Lamar Miller) v. Rozzie Square (Gronk):  Rozzie Square?  Not in my Hauschka!!

Rozzie Square is all over the board.  Sometime she kicks ass, sometimes she forgets to set her lineup.  Rob Gronkowski knows something about being all over the map.  He has ranged from 27.40 points (week 1) to 4.70 points (week 9).  It be easier if this were a steady decline, but its not.  Gronk is literally all over the map, just like Rozzie Square - seriously, someone point that out to me on a map.

Not in my Hauschka is excelling.  She picked up in week 7 and things have turned around.  Lamar Miller rushed for 44 yards, received another 97 and scored 2 touchdowns.  That's worth 26.10 points in case you were wondering.

Kiegl Titans (Brees) v. Canning Queen (Lesser Manning):  The Titans blow past the Queen on a brisk Fall Brees.

The Kiegl Titans' QB, Drew Brees has not been a guy you depend on this season, and the Titans' - up until recently that is - have been a guaranteed win for her opponent.  But just like the Titans, Brees seems to have turned it around.  Brees threw for 3 TDs and 387 yards, its looking like Brees, and the Titans may be back in action.

I've been all about the Manning brothers for some time, clearly the Greater Manning (Peyton) is my favorite, but lesser Manning (Eli) has really been impressing me lately.  Unfortunately, its tough to get out from under someone's shadow.  Canning Queen has been a lot like lesser Manning, she's good...just not enough to outshine her opponent.  Eli threw for 213 yards and 2 TDs, which was enough for a NY win, but only brought the Queen 12.42 points.

Clitboner (Bye Week) v. Bout That Action (Brandon Cooks): Clear winner here: Bout That Action

For Bout that Action it has been all about finding her stride.  Brandon Cooks started out the 15/16 season on a decidedly slow note, but in the last couple weeks he has found his way to consistency.  This week he caught 4 of his 6 targets for 71 yards and a touchdown.  It's not just about being good enough, its about getting your poop in a group and figuring out how to play the game every week.

Clitboner's case in point was a tough call.  Should it be Marshawn Lynch?  He was on a bye week.  Or maybe Russell Wilson?  He was on a bye week.  No, it should definitely be Eric Ebron - he was on a bye week too.  Case In Point:  Bye week players bring you zero points.

Eskimo Brothers (Poke in the Eye) v. The Legend (Adrian Peterson):  The Legend sings his redemption song.

The Legend was looking to redeem his status this week, Adrian Peterson has been about redemption all season.  And they've both made good progress this week.  Peterson had his season high carry for 125 yards, the Minnesota QB, Teddy Bridgewater, went down mid game with a concussion, bringing in a fresh QB and setting Peterson up to handle most of Minnesota's offense.  20.30 points for the game, great way to say "Yeah, I think I'm back!"

The Eskimo Brothers are trying to figure out what happened this week.  And to be fair so is pretty much his entire team.  2 RBs, 3 WR and a TE brought 24.5 points back to the igloo.  Ouch.  Sure his defense brought in 22.20 points, but when the Broncos CB Aqib Talib decided to poke Dwayne Allen in the eyeball - ruining any opportunity for Denver to come back - you have to wonder, what just happened?

Leonard's League 15/16 Week Eight

Ladies and Gentlemen...we have another guest post! Bout that Action with moral support from the Eskimo Bothers, stepped up this week and wrote our update. And it is marvelous. Thank you Jo!!!

It’s MUCH. MORE. FUN. to write a recap when you’ve won for the week. Especially when you’ve given up on your team and decided you hate them all… but that’s another story. Speaking of hate- this week we are going to Shake it Off with a T-Swiftribute

Lucky for the League, I HEART Tay Tay!! As we take a tour of week 8’s ups and downs, we will also take a tour of T-Swizzle’s beats (PS did you know she has over 100? Truth. Look it up.)

S0 feel free to speed read through because the accuracy of this post cannot be confirmed nor denied. Let’s just say this Swiftie doesn’t know the difference between a running back and wide receiver, and is realizing just how complicated this damn post thing is.

Here goes:

Today Was a Fairytale - Bout that Action Finally Beats Herban Fire- first time ev-er.

It had the makings of a nightmare at first with a score too close for comfort from Thursday on. At 4pm on Sunday Bout that Action finally was Bout that fairytale. Brandin Cooks was the knight in shining armor scoring two touchdowns, which along with Chandler Catanzaro’s 10 kicking points and Latavius’ Murray’s ok showing helped rally enough points to put out the Herban Fire. If only she had faith in Shane Vereen, who scored 20 bench points. Herban Fire had no sparks flying in this matchup with Andrew Luck’s struggle with his league high 12 interceptions this season. Luck’s wet performance in OT, with Tyler Lockett's soggy no-show (36 total yards) and Jimmy Graham’s uninvolved raindance with Wilson all resulted in a wet, sopping, drizzling loss for the Fire. Unfortunately this matchup doesn’t do much for either HF or BTA since both are in the bottom bracket.

Maybe these two should stick to dance offs…

Not in my Hauschka kicks her way to the TOP, swiftly kicking the Legend’s A$%.

Not in my Hauschka was out for blood! She swapped first place in the league with The Legend (6-2, 852.80 points), beating them 138.66 to 98.34. Haush also managed to score the second-highest point total of the ENTIRE season so far. Damn. Sadly, a primetime rally during Monday Night Football (32.30 MNF points, 33% of their final score) wasn't enough for The Legend. Not in my Hauschka took a 21.30-point lead on Thursday and maintained an advantage throughout the matchup. This win was revenge for a loss to The Legend in their last meeting last year. The Legend had one glaring player that missed out on some opportunities. Despite being targeted seven times, T.Y. Hilton could only reel in one catch. Haushka’s Odell Beckham was on FIRE this week with 31.00 points. Not too bad for the Chiefs defense either… Sadly Haushka himself only had one chance to shine, but shine he did, that one time. Watch out for this lady’s quick-footed moves- we might see the Goat sporting a new name this season. HAUSH!

Canning Queen leaves Rozzie Square wounded.

Rozzie fought to the end (what is a Rozzie?) but even with 41 points on Monday Night she wasn’t able to un-can the Queen (I don’t even know what that means).

Close game ladies, and high scoring too! Good fight to the end. Eli Manning (350 Pas Yds, 6 TD) had a great game, but so did the Vikings. Every battle has a weakest link- and there was a player on both teams that had plenty of chances but didn't capitalize on opportunities. On the winning side, Jonathan Stewart got 25 touches but only tallied 83 total yards, while Isaiah Crowell was even less effective, managing just 26 yards on 11 touches for Rozzie Square. Canning Queen came out on top in this brutal girl fight! Well done ladies.

Eskimo Brothers still in it- Spanks Bobbum Man to Move into 4th Place

Who’s hot and knows his fantasy football? THIS GUY! Don’t hate because he won last year, Hate because he’s better at this than you, Hate because he LOVES the John Clayton show. But don’t Hate that he wins. I am sure Bobbum Man hated getting pummeled from the get go, but players gonna play play play. Eskimo Brothers had a lead from the start, and took a 51.26-point lead on Sunday afternoon and held the lead throughout the matchup. Eskimo picked up 28.56 points from Carson Palmer (374 Pas Yds, 4 TD/1 Int) and 20.20 from Julio Jones  (162 Rec Yds, 1 TD), although Bobbum’s Colts lost, they did have a solid score of 23.40, but that wasn’t much help. Another score that wasn’t much help for Bobbum- Jacoby Jones. He was the only starter throughout the whole league with Negative points. I would focus my hate on Jacoby. Not E.B.

Keigl Titans lets Clitboner finish, but…

Another matchup under 100 points… or as we say, missionary. The Keigl Titans relied O O Oh so heavily on Drew Brees. I mean 44.30 points. Great performance Drew, Seven TDs in one game = gettin’ some! Speaking of play, a few players didn’t get much play… On the winning side, David Johnson and Danny Woodhead got only eight total touches but tallied an outstanding 93 all-purpose yards between them. For Clitboner, Joique Bell managed 56 yards on just seven touches. Also limited action- Good ole Russell. Maybe he needs to get some after all? Keigl Titans, always a lady, let Clitboner finish, but.

Victorious Secret Beats The Vinegar Strokes, Rises to 3rd Place

I sense some Bad Blood in the Hart Household. Victorious Secret put the smack down on Vinegar Strokes 114.44 to 88.64 and put up the highest point total of their season. Hey Secret, did you have a friendly wager on the side? New pair of skis perhaps??? This win was sweet revenge for Victorious Secret following a brutal postseason defeat last year to The Vinegar Strokes. Victorious was victorious from the get-go on Thursday and remained in front for the rest of the matchup. The Strokes stroked hard with most of their players winning on the real field, just not really in the fantasy arena. Have I mentioned I hate Tom Brady? He and I have some bad blood over 2015 but he’s been the secret’s not-so-secret weapon the past 3 weeks as her team’s high scorer. Strokes will be stroking his wounds and ego until the next showdown…

This blog thing is much harder than it looks.

This is me at work:

Cheers to week 9! Who’s blogging next???

-Jo