Final post of the 16/17 season is here! Yes, I know it's the ides of March. I was busy. This has nothing to do with me having to relinquish the G.O.A.T. NOTHING.
Rozzie Square, I still don't like that name. None of your West Coast league members get it. AND you don't even live there anymore! What about "Cranberry Juice" or "I'm the guy that does his job. You must be the other guy". Or if you want to stay geographical, how about "Halifax Horde"? I have all sorts of ideas, if you need help, just give me a call!
Anyway, now that I've let some of the air out, I can get a better grip on the one of the reasons for this post. February 1, 2015 the Hawks fell to the Patriots. We had a bet. If the good guys win you send us lobstahs. If evil triumphs and a reign of terror is revived we send you a bag of Dicks. Hey - you made the bet, I'm not responsible for your preferences. It may be a bit tardy, but I didn't forget. Enclosed in the package I sent you, please find 1 bag of dicks and 1 box of dicks. The box of dicks is interest. You're welcome.
I'll pay up on the final bag of Dicks next time you're in town.
Ooops, meant this one.
Also, congratulations are in order. Rozzie Square is the winner of Leonard's League 2016-2017 season! You beat Bobbum Man in the championship 124.36 to 119.78. Impressive, since you were projected to lose by 11 points. Ezekiel Elliot rushed for 2 TD, bringing in 21.20 points and Travis Kelce had a good day with 160 receiving yards and a TD. See? Reign of Terror. Bobbum had a good day too. Rodgers passed 347 yards and threw in 4 TDs, an excellent showing but not enough to stop you. It was a tough loss for Bobbum Man, but it will motivate him for next year. Rozzie - you rocked it this season, you held the winningest (no, I don't know if that's a real word and no, I can't be bothered with a dicktionary right now, I already gave you all the dicks) record and you earned the G.O.A.T., Congratulations! The G.O.A.T. was shipped to you and USPS said its in your possession. You will find a minor improvement has been made.
She got her nails did! Isn't she pretty? Certain privileges are bestowed on the champion, one of which is the ability to the alter the G.O.A.T. following the rules below.
1. The G.O.A.T. must retain it's original goat-like appearance
2. Previous winner's modifications may not be covered, removed or otherwise defamed
3. The champion is solely responsible for passing the trophy to the next winner on or before April 1 following the title transfer*
Congratulations again, well done this season! Beware next season...so far the curse of The G.O.A.T. is no joke and every champion has finished outside the playoffs the year following their win. Sweet Dreams!
Much Love,
Kiki
*Exceptions can be made if delivery of the G.O.A.T must occur after April 1 at the discretion of the new Champion and with review privileges by the entirety of Leonard's League. Punishments for late delivery are determined by the new Champion, are subject to review by Leonard's League and should include some form of public humiliation. Legitimate reasons for late transfers of the G.O.A.T. may include but are not limited to: apocalyptic scenarios which include the loss of basic shipping services, road closures and/or the sudden, unexpected loss of internal combustion engines; allegations of cheating which may or may not be properly investigated by the NFL, Leonard's League and the ASPCA; or exhaustion combined with nausea, forgetfulness, a propensity to cry at the drop of a hat and a laser like focus on all things relating to very tiny people - more commonly recognized as pregnancy.
That's right - The Schafers are pregnant!! September 8 there's going to be an extra Schafer around for Leonard to keep track of. We think he can handle it!
